Beso 2010!

Aah!  It was a great year!

I know, the conventional wisdom is to kiss off the current year and look forward to the new.  But I have to say  2010 might have just been one of my best years EVAH! And honestly, I’m a little sad to see it go.   But, as always, I’m ready, willing and oh, so intrigued by what’s next!

Truth is, every day, every minute, can be a fresh new start, a fresh new possibility – we don’t really need a calendar year change to feel a breath of possibility.

But, it sure does help!

So here’s to wishing you all a fantastic “final days” of the mighty 2010!

Cheers for a beautiful and brilliant new year!

Peace, love and all that good stuff!

Carm~

My Letter to Santa

Dear  Santa,

I’m getting my letter in EARLY!  Truth is, I’ve been a REAL good girl this year.  I mean SPECTACULAR!

Just in case you get a little confused, I thought I’d remind you of how GOOD I’ve been!

For starters, I’ve been patient.  Real patient.  More patient than I’ve ever been in my entire life!  With people, with circumstances, with anything and everything’s that’s been thrown my way.  And can we be a little honest here? A LOT’s been thrown my way this year BIG TIME!  But that’s okay. I can handle it.

Now, I’ve also been very giving.  Let’s be fair, I’ve always “given”.  But this year, I think I’ve done much more than any other year.  Ironically, I’ve had less to give financially, but I’ve given more of my heart, my time and my love. It didn’t matter that it’s been tough all year, I still work on the premise of always trying to give more than I receive (Selfish really.  I like how it feels to give – a secret I learned from you long ago!).   All and all I think I’ve done pretty well on the “giving” end regardless!

Let’s see, what else?  Oh, I’ve also been understanding.  I mean, VERY understanding!  I’ve done my best to understand why people treat people the way they do. Why some are so cheap or angry or just plain stupid!  (Oops, sorry, I shouldn’t be calling people stupid).  But I’ve tried.  I’ve really tried to understand why people lie so very much to each other but more astonishingly to themselves.  And I have to admit,  I  really don’t get it!  Nonetheless, when I realized it was too painful to keep trying to understand, I stepped away.  Letting people do what they need to do.  And honestly, I can’t say I know or understand anything better, but I do admit to feeling oh so much better!   And when you feel better, you can only do better, right?

See, I’ve been good!  For the most part anyways, so here’s my list (in no particular order):

1)  I would like the economy to improve – immediately please (uhm, and just to be specific, I mean all over the world).

2)  I would also like the US education system to improve ten-fold (good luck Michelle Rhee. www.studentsfirst.org)

3)  I would like Liberals and Conservatives to stop being so damn extreme and get back to being more uhm…SANE and yeah, calm down a bit! Goodness gracious (sorry for cursing there Santa)!

4)  I would like people to stop being so self-absorbed and think about others on a more regular basis.  For example, they could start with just reaching out to their next door neighbor or be more worldly and learn about women and children suffering  in the Congo.  It’d be a much better world if we just THOUGHT bigger, CARED more and REACHED out to others on a regular basis (Yes, I know, I’m asking for Utopia. But it’s my list Santa! And this is what I want!).

5)  I would like all the divisiveness to stop.  We’ve gone from North and South to Red States, Blue States, to Main Street and Wall Street.  Can I be so corny and cliché as to ask:  Can’t we all just get along?

6)  I’d like us to stop talking about Gay folk so much.  And what I mean is, Santa, can we finally just get to a place where we realize what people do in their own damn bedroom is none of my muther-effin’ business?  Enough, already.  I am so over people being homophobic, people having to ‘come out’…OYVEY!  To me, it’s like racist morons, I can’t even give them the time of day they’re so ridiculous!  I don’t care if you’re Gay!  And no one else should either!  (sorry Santa, I cursed again, uhem).

7)  I’d also like Warren Buffett and the rest of the billionaires to please stop talking about giving away their fortunes.  God love ‘em, but goodness sake, for some reason it just infuriates me more!  Trickle Trickle my way Mr. Buffett!  I bet I could do GREAT things with a stimulus package of my own!  I’d be happy to take $200K of your money and show you what I could do with it!  I’m just saying… I’m glad you’re all giving your money away, but unless you’re doing it for something tangible in my own community, and doing it right now, can you please give it a rest?  The last thing poor folk want to hear is that you got so much money that you’re giving it away but not to US!  (Love you though Mr. Buffett! I really do!).

8)  That “Christmas” be embraced completely!   As well as every other religious celebration! It’s not political correctness, it’s just common sense.   This time of year is so beautiful!  It’s even more beautiful because it lights up with so many different traditions!   And honestly, it’s not that hard to light a menorah or say Happy Kwanza or Happy Holidays at all.  Seriously, do we just FIND things to complain about?  It’s my second favorite time of year, let’s let everyone enjoy it (yeah, my birthday still is numero uno, lets not confuse what’s most important he-he!)!

Personally, I’d like what I always ask for:

1)      Continued GREAT health (grateful for my health so far!).

2)      Steady work doing what I love (so grateful that I get to pursue what I love at all!).

3)      Continued great joy and happiness for the people in my life…and for myself! (I’m so friggin’ lucky!).

Lastly,  If I had to ask for “gadgety material-esque” things that I truly don’t need…   Well,  I’d like a new cell phone.  The new little palm pre 2, which honestly I don’t even know if I’d like but  I’d sure love to buy it right now unlocked and try it out!  A pair of Jimmy Choo’s never hurt and I am so due!  Tickets to West Side Story, a baseball or basketball game and…well, let’s just say I wouldn’t be angry if any of all of those magically appeared somehow!!!.  (Oh, but see how easy it is to get all materialistic?).

Eeeh, I’ll  trade in all the gadgety material-esque things for the rest of my life if you give me everything else on my list!  Deal?

By the way, thank you for last years gifts…all of them!

Tu Carmencita.

Pen to Paper

It’s so much easier for me to write long-hand than it is to type my thoughts and feelings on a computer.  Although I’m a lover of technology and a consumer of most gadgets, the truth is, there’s something soothing and rhythmic to having a pen between your fingers and tracing across a smooth sheet of paper.

I think what I hate most or find annoying with typing on a computer is the constant need to mentally “re-check” and “re-do” everything.  Then there’s spell check automatically changing the words you might have spelled incorrectly or “fixing” what sometimes need not be fixed! It automatically switches letters or corrects your words – oh, it bothers me something fierce!  And I always notice the movement, the “correction” and on top of annoying me, it knocks me out of my rhythmic moment!

The uniformity of words and the letters on the screen also somewhat bore me.  The black and white-ness of it all.  I’ll type one line and stare at it blankly forever.  There’s no character, no true physical essence of  ME – all that remains is the UMPH of the words, how they sound together, and all that “suppose-ed” MEANING.  For me, writing on a computer assumes it’s for someone else’s consumption.  I’m always editing, thinking about structure – all of sudden “meaning” to others matters so much more. . . So much pressure!  Do the words make sense or ring true?   Did I say it right? Is it smart enough? Did I use the right words?

Yeah, I could write it by hand and then re-type it. . . oh, but who has the time?  And still, once you start transferring the words, all of a sudden changes need to be made!

When I write in my sketch book or what others may call a journal, it’s mine, completely MINE.  It feels personal and it’s NOT for anyone else’s consumption.  I love that!  It’s all about ME and it’s doubtful anyone else will ever see it.  My writing can be messy and jagged or beautifully cursive.  I can print or doodle – one never knows when writing that day, but when you look back, if you choose to look back, it has character, flavor, so much more of ME than just the words – there’s style, character, flare and yes, the UMPH of the words too.  Just by looking at the physical-ness of the entry, you get a sense of what it might mean.  And you can get a feel of the entry just by glancing —  You can tell what kind of mood I might have been in, just by the LOOK of it all. Did I block print? Did I scribble?   Did I use blue or black ink?  Was it really important so I underlined, starred it, or circled?  Did I write all in red ink to signify a GREAT day?  Or did I just run out of blue ink pens?

Maybe this explains why I find screenwriters and speechwriters so fascinating.  The great ones produce rhythmic and meaningful lines across a page that invoke meaning and purpose all by themselves. They don’t need my colored pens and doodles to enhance the meaning of the words.  And, if we’re lucky, the right talent comes along and gives the writer’s words texture and adds another facet of life into the work – hopefully, without losing the writers intent, of course!  It’s why I love acting so much, bringing life to the scripted words…just the collaboration of it all.

For me, I’m good writing in my personal sketch book every single day.  Doodling, free writing, playing around with ideas.  There’s no doubt it’s a kind of therapy of sorts, at least for me anyways!  And yeah, sometimes, like today, I’ll take the time to re-type it all…cuz it just feels right and I actually do have the time. ;)