The Trick to Being Smart

Enjoy the Podcast or the Transcription Below:


I wanted to talk to you today about being smart.

I actually had a couple of experiences in the past few days that I realized how easy it is for people to come across looking so stupid because they don’t know this little trick.  I’ve been doing this tiny trick since I was a little kid.  And I am shocked by how easy it is AND how horrible it is that people don’t know this simple thing.

Let me give you the two examples.

One was in the national media with the republican nominee for President, Ben Carson, who thought it was wise to share his thoughts on what you should do if confronted by a gunman in a classroom.  Now I don’t care how you spin this, he’s basically blaming the victim.  The fact of the matter is no one knows how they would react, especially as young teenagers or young adults who were mostly in that classroom – not having any idea that someone was about to confront them with gunfire.

So that’s one example.

The second example I wanted to share was a personal one. I have this friend who constantly feels the need to share medical advice even though she has no actual experience or education in the medical field whatsoever.  So, if you just say you have a headache, all of a sudden we’re going down this rabbit hole of medical information that she’s clearly gotten from WebMD and whatever crazy show she’s watching on television.  She just ends up looking like an idiot.  And yesterday I kinda confronted her on it and so it made me think about doing this blog post.

Here’s the trick to appearing smart:

First of all, realizing that there is nobody on the planet – not Einstein when he was alive or even someone like Stephen Hawking – who knows everything about everything. Nobody does.  Admitting that you don’t know or have to have an answer to everything is the first step. It’s okay not to know everything.  And since I was a little kid, I’ve never spoken about things I know nothing about.

If I don’t know something that someone’s talking about, I will actually say to them; “You know what, I don’t know anything about that subject.”  Or I can’t give an opinion because I don’t know enough about it.  What this does is allows people to understand that you have some humility and that you’re not trying to be a bragging person, but it also allows you to be an expert in the things you are an expert about (or think you’re an expert about).   And it also frees you from always having to have an answer.

Anyways, I just wanted to share that.  I’m sure a lot of you know the kind of people I’m talking about who are constantly talking about things they know nothing about. And the irony is, they think they’re being smart, they think they have one up on you, but you know they’re actually very stupid – because even things that they’re saying, make no sense whatsoever.  It reminds me of an In Living Color skit that I had to post here.  And it just made me laugh so I had to share it.

Anyways, thanks for stopping by again.  I hope you’re having a great day, definitely have a sweet day and I hope to be back again real soon.

Music by Chris Zabriskie, Prelude No. 23


A Few of my Favorite Things

I was interviewed yesterday by a very up and coming young reporter for a project they’re doing and I was asked to name a few of my favorite things and I thought I’d share just a sample:

What is your favorite book, that you would take if stuck on a deserted island where there was no internet?  

There are three books I have read over and over again for many years. And if I was stuck on a deserted island, I’d pick these to have with me:

The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, The Alchemist by Paul Coelho and Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke



And what is your favorite thing to wear?

Well, if I had a my choice always a pair of Jimmy Choos or Pucci’s. But, since most days I don’t need to wear heals, the truth is you can pretty much find me in a pair of the ever so classic Converse.

080514 003

Just for fun, what would be your choice on a deserted island to read?  And for no reason at all, what’s your favorite thing to wear?  I guess it’s odd to always pick my shoes first, but I do and then decide what to wear clothes-wise.  Funny, I never thought of that before. I love learning new things about myself!  Ha!

Have a brilliant rest of the week!

The Kinda Pope We’ve Always Wanted..Needed…

Pope Francis waves from his car, a Fiat, upon arrival at Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland, September 22, 2015, on the start of a 3-day trip to Washington. AFP PHOTO / SAUL LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

AFP PHOTO / SAUL LOEB (Photo credit: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

Pope Francis in a Fiat!  Arrives at Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland, September 22, 2015, on the start of his first visit to the United States.  I couldn’t love this any more!

And, I don’t need to write anything else.  A picture truly is worth a thousand…


Enjoy the podcast, or read below. Either way, I hope you enjoy it a bit…


Patio flowersI honestly don’t know where along the way people started equating being grateful and writing in “gratitude journals” as being something you practiced or did in hopes of getting “abundance”.

Gratefulness or being grateful has nothing to do with getting any sort of “reward”.  If you write in a gratitude journal every day about being grateful you get absolutely nothing but clarity about what you’re grateful for.  It would be analogous to writing an “honesty journal” every day.  Being honest is part of what we can do — it’s an “IS-NESS” and it doesn’t come with a reward of abundance – being honest, like being grateful IS its own reward.  It is part of who we naturally can choose to be as human beings.

It drives me insane when I hear gratitude being linked to abundance or any other reward-esque thing.  And let’s be honest: what does abundance mean anyways?  Surely we all want to believe that abundance is some intangible greatness that we’ll get if we keep writing them journals and praying on it and such, but at the end of the day, don’t we all just want to be able to pay our bills, make a living, keep from illness and despair and have joy more times than not?  Well, spiritual-esque preachers and the like will have you believing that it’s because you’re not grateful enough.  And how would you know?

Now before I get slammed by a bunch of angry spiritual folk, let me say a few things, I believe in God. I believe in being grateful and I actually believe in this mystical abundance – the difference is, I don’t link the two. There is NO quid pro quo.  You do not need to be grateful every day to have this elusive abundance that has no real definition.  I mean, honestly, how many people do you know that are NOT grateful for anything and yet are swimming in material abundance?  And in this case, yes, I’m equating abundance with wealth – but I can also ask you the same question the other way:  how many people do you know who are not as grateful as you are about anything and seem to be living in spiritual abundance even if it feels like a façade?

Surely these “gurus” from all sectors of the spiritual and not so spiritual realm are trying to motivate and inspire.  My problem is they don’t really explain the link, they don’t define the term “abundance” and they leave just enough out to let the flock interpret meaning and keep you coming back for more.

Being grateful, just like being happy, is just part of being human.  Sometimes you see a rainbow and you’re grateful.  You see a baby born, grateful.  You get a bonus, grateful. You break your arm and realize how much you really use it, grateful.  Gratefulness is the outcome of what has already happened. Gratefulness is what already IS.  You don’t need to remind yourself and write about it daily and it is something you should do and BE because you’re human.  You get nothing in return for being a good human except… you know, being a good human!  But people have convinced us that if we walk around in gratitude all day long and appreciate the things you have that somehow magically you won’t still want more – that you’ll be happy with what you have and that appreciating what’s in-front of you will make you not crave anything else.  You’ll be content. Really?

We are human beings.  And the magnificent thing about the human spirit is that we always want more. It’s what got us to the moon, it’s what makes us solve mysteries, cure disease or climb mountains. It’s what makes us create iPhones or damns.  We’re not a complacent species to begin with.  There is nothing wrong with wanting or craving more – and you don’t have to beg for it or prove how grateful you are – one has nothing to do with the other.

But hey, if you do want to get something in return for your efforts, I do have a solution.  And the best part is, you don’t need to write in a journal or spend any money at all, unless you choose to.  And I promise you – if you work on this, you will get a reward that is so profound, you’ll be angry you didn’t start it sooner! It’s not this elusive “abundance” that all the gurus and life coaches seem to spew, but it’s better – and it’s usually provides immediate gratification!  Ready?

Every day, wake up and work on being compassionate.  Do a better job of having empathy for your fellow human beings.  And you can do this everywhere.  Have an abundance of understanding and love for your fellow neighbor even if you don’t agree with them. For example, you can be driving in your car and when someone needs to get into your lane – throw them a smile and wave them on. Most times you’ll get an immediate feeling of joy for doing such a simple act of kindness.  Help someone at work who you know is struggling.  Give a homeless person a smile instead of avoiding them or cursing them under your breath.  Work on those types of things and I promise you, you’ll get so much more in return.

Being a compassionate person, working on being sympathetic and loving is a far greater use of your valuable time than continuously writing in your gratitude journals about all the stuff you’re so grateful for.  It kinda seems a bit self-absorbed and a bit silly when you think of it.

But imagine if you could write down today all the times you were a compassionate soul to another human being?  How many would you be able to write today?  One? Two? Five?   Let me emphasize again, you need not write down a thing. And compassion could be as simple as a smile to a fellow runner or walker along a path — But when we show compassion, something that actually takes effort on our part, not only is it a beautiful thing for the person who needs the moment, who needs the love, but it is most times an immediate gratification for the person showing the compassion.  It’s definitely quid pro quo.  Now, I’m not saying it’s the only reason you should be compassionate, but you know, whatever gets you started there, works for me!

Here’s my thing:  I’m tired of listening to people I admire talk about gratitude in terms of abundance – it’s become so cliché and for whatever the initial intentions where, it’s become skewed and now so very self-indulgent.  Stop it.  Be grateful because it’s something you should be.  Don’t be grateful because there’s some magical gift coming from doing so.

Compassion – that’s the ticket.  You want to write in a journal every day?  Start writing a compassion & empathy journal.  Figure out how to be a more loving, kind and compassionate soul on the planet and I promise you, finding “abundance” won’t even be an issue.

My POV Ray Miller

Have a sweet day . . .


*Music by Chris Zabriskie, Prelude No. 23,