Competing Beach Wisdom

I went out for a run yesterday morning by the beach.  Five miles, slow and easy.  Nothing too fierce.  James came up beside me and started running backwards in the sand, and as always teasing me a bit with his beautiful self:

“Hey, looking good…race you to the Pier Carm?  Come on.”

I laughed, just a little in that flirty way so he gets the hint that I’m not about to go any faster than I am right now.  He prances off turning around every so often to see if maybe I’ve taken the bait.  He’s absolutely stunningly, by the way.  Even if I could race him, why would I choose to miss such a magnificent view?  The boy’s got perfectly  long muscular  legs, stands about 6 feet tall.  The perfect “back” if you get my “meaning” and has that beautiful “triathalony”, not-one-ounce-of body-fat frame anyone would be jealous of.  And lastly, the dark beautiful skin that’s golden tanned like only the California sun can produce with perfectly blonde “surfer boy” kinda hair that’s a little too long, but perfect all wet and sweaty….

Let me tell you, if there’s ever a question why I work out every morning, let’s just say, I have incentive!

But as I watched James get farther and farther ahead of me, I started thinking a lot about racing and competition.  For as much as I competed as a kid in so many different activities, I was never really a competitor.  I never felt great about winning because I knew that meant someone else had to lose.  And since I had my share of losing, well… it just wasn’t in my nature to like making someone else feel bad,   even if it was fair competition.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important for kids to learn about competition and more specifically, learn how to compete.  People should learn what it feels like to win and to lose.  I’m completely opposed to these new “rules” in some schools that say everyone always wins and no one ever loses and everyone gets an award and blah, blah, blah.  No.  Winning and losing help develop character in a way that no other experience can.

But, now, when I think back on it – I know I’ve never been a competitor, not in the classic sense anyways.

As a kid, I never competed with anyone else but myself.  I wish I could say it had to do with being so wise, but actually it had more to do with knowing what it felt like to lose and realizing early on that when you win, someone else has to end up feeling bad, someone else has to lose. . . and I hated that more than anything else.  So, when I danced or played basketball and won competitions or games, I always went out of my way to try and be kind, gracious and appreciative to the other competitor or team.  But I hated both – losing and winning for sure.

What I did love, was “being better than I used to be”.  Hearing my instructor tell me that I was 150% better from last weeks show,  or,  when I passed the basketball to a team member and they’d hit the winning shot when before they’d never even really played before…  That was brilliant!  The joy in their eyes or their overwhelming happiness was a different kind of feeling for me  – it’s better than winning actually.  It’s something sort of magical!

Well, suffice it to say, I gave in and started running a little faster to meet up with James.  He wasn’t really running afterall.  He was lightly jogging and turning around every so often to wave at me.  Taunting me really.  I couldn’t help but run as fast as I could when he wasn’t looking and then I leaped  on his back…  we both went crashing down onto the sand, the waves came up ever so close and it gave me just the little head start I needed.  He was surprised and still finding his footing when I dashed ahead towards the pier.

So much for not competing.

Eeehh, I cheated…  But come on, this wasn’t a real competition – suffice it to say, he still beat me (is there anything worse than cheating and still losing?  OYVEY!).   But it was a great work-out and a lot of fun and the reward for finishing was….spectacular!  😉

Happy Day everyone!

Right Now

I woke early this morning, brushed my teeth and splashed some water on my face.  When I returned to my bedroom, there was freshly brewed coffee on a tray alongside the latest script to read and my writing booklet with a personalized note:  “Have a beautiful day. You do realize you’re doing everything you’ve always wanted to do, right? ”

Sometimes we forget in our quest to meet the “end goal” that we don’t enjoy the accomplishments along the way.  We “miss the forest for the trees”.  Every step of the way is pretty brilliant and although sometimes I find myself bummed and stressed about getting to where I’m going, you know, to see the forest, I forget to  notice all the great moments along the way – I don’t see the individual trees along the path to my ultimate goal…

Well, today I was reminded (thank you!) that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing and that its pretty amazing!  It took me a long time to get here, but wow! I’m finally here, doing my thing and that, at the very least, deserves a moment of happiness!

Hope you can find some joy and solace in what you’re doing right now – be grateful for it and continue to move forward accordingly.

Peace, love and all that good stuff!

Where Everyone Knows Your Name…

Went to my favorite local hangout last night — and for what it’s worth, it’s pretty much a 5 star restaurant frequented by many “A-list” and “local” celebrities.

I’ve been “hanging” there for over  10 years but it’d been a while since I’d stopped by and I have to say, I really missed being there.  It has a bar of course, but it’s all class.  Very elegant place to have dinner and quite expensive for most folk (uhmmm, very expensive for me too!).

But I used to go there early in the evening to watch the game and do my writing.  The owner is a HUGE Laker fan, and I’m…well, a Celtic fan and that’s kinda how we “met” for real!  But I could just sit at the bar for hours – watching out the window as my fellow neighbors passed on by in their cars or walking – a perfect little view for daydreaming, boy-shopping or just chillin’.

My secret little getaway.

But whenever there’s a game (basketball or baseball) we’d watch on this little tiny TV they just happen to have stuck inside a little portion of the wall.  The volume’s never up and, well, it’s just not that kind of place.  But the “regulars” come weekly, share a glass of Vueve or the latest expensive wine and watch quietly at the bar before heading off to their dinner…

Last night was perfect.  I loved walking in.  Without even trying you seem to make an entrance, that’s how they make you feel anyways!  The host came over and kissed me on both cheeks, hugged me and welcomed me back.  He motioned to the waiters and bartenders that I was “here” and then he asked me how I was doing.  Sincerely concerned that I’d hadn’t been around for a while.  I told him he looked fabulous – and he did!  He’d been working out or something – then the owner came over, also kissed me hello and got me seated at the bar immediately.  Coming over frequently to make sure we had everything we needed. The bartender automatically turned the channel on the TV. The Celtics were playing afterall. . .   very cool.

I grabbed my glass of champagne, and in walked a celebrity, also a regular, and I won’t mention his name since, well, there’s no real need to.  But there was the owner, hugging  and welcoming him back too.  The host shook his hand and they talked about his latest “TV-ism” for a moment.  And I thought to myself “…how cool is that?”  The “celebrity” looked on over and gave  a quick nod and silent “hello” my way – knowing I to, had come back “home” after being away for so long.  He looked up at the screen and laughed – he remembered my Celtic/Laker rival with the owner …again, very cool.

Eeeh, it sounds like just good customer service for a restaurant to do what it needs to do to get people to come back – and I’m not clueless to that.  The difference is this feels authentic and always has.  They’d be a fabulous restaurant with or without the brilliant “family-esque” customer service because it truly is one of the  crème de la crème of restaurants food-wise.  But there’s just something about walking into a place where everyone knows your name and makes you feel right at home.

Yeah, I really do love this town.

Brand New Day!

Well, I’m certainly back now. . .

Yeah, it took me a little time, but getting away for a bit always does the trick.

But as my good friend always reminds me; “Life is good”.

Yes, yes, it is!

So, now that I’ve spent the last two days developing this new site, I’ll just take a moment to say I’m excited to be back on familiar ground, surrounded by brilliant folk and really excited  to blog more often, to update on all things “career”-wise,  and  to basically do anything else that fancies my little brain from time to time.

I’d also like to give a shout out to my friend Brian!  Thank you for all your help with EVERYTHING.  You have been a great and wonderful addition to my life and, well… you know the rest! 🙂

Happy Thursday.

Head Over Heels in Love!



I fell in love a few weeks ago.

It happened just like everyone said it would, when I wasn’t looking for it, when I wasn’t paying attention.

I don’t believe in love at first site, and one could argue that this was a long time coming, but all I can say is that I feel good.  I might even be a bit obsessed.  I’m not sure that’s a good thing, but I’m just going with the flow for now.

I knew the minute I sat down. The minute I took it all in.  There was no other place I wanted to be, but right there in that moment.  I felt right at home – a sense of calm mixed with excitement.  It blindsided me.  “Head over heels” just doesn’t do it justice.  But this is love. Real love, I just know it is.

A few weeks ago, I fell in love with baseball.

Aaaah, I love basketball, I’ve always been a fan. Football, I can tolerate but it was never really my thing.  And baseball?   I just don’t know…

I spent more time at Fenway Park growing up in Boston than I care to admit, but I never went there to watch the game.  It was more of a place to hang out back then.  I was far more interested in Landsdown Street and getting into the bars & clubs that lined that part of town than anything else. I was just a kid and shouldn’t have been hanging at the park let alone getting into the clubs, but that’s a whole other story for another time.

What I don’t understand is how I never got hooked on the game of baseball after all those years….but I guess none of that matters at this point, I’m here now!

My first game after all this time was just the other day:  the Dodgers played the Cincinnati Reds.  The Dodgers won and from what I understand it was a pretty exciting game – I was so green and didn’t get much of it at all so I remember very little.  And yet, there was something about the park, the fans, the perfect aura of it all that just overwhelmed me.  It touched a part of me I didn’t know existed and I find myself yearning to be back in the park again watching the game under the perfectly lit sweet sky.

There are some “isms” I’ve come to realize in these past few weeks of research that are kinda cool if not a little weird, about me. To my surprise, I own both a Red Sox hat and a Dodger hat (A very cool vintage Brooklyn Dodger hat) and my 3rd favorite movie of all time has always been Field of Dreams.  I used to always say “it’s not just a movie about baseball…” but now that I understand so much more about the game I appreciate one of my favorite movies even more  (just watched it again the other day).  So maybe baseball’s always been part of me and I just never really noticed?  Maybe that’s the thing about baseball:  it gets under your skin without you even realizing it.  Maybe it’s an innate part of being an American.  Maybe it’s just in our blood?  I don’t know.  I’m finding it hard to explain my new found love.



I do have a few regrets though, questions really.  You know, I’ve always been and will always be a girl from Boston. But I don’t know everything about the Red Sox just yet, so do I have to commit so quickly?  And because I live in Los Angeles and went to a Dodger game I “sided” with Dodger fans and decided I’d root for the Dodgers, but, I’ve been “seeing” other games and, well, I’m just saying, I’m a little interested, that’s all.   I recently watched a Tivo’d game between San Francisco and Philly and I think I REALLY fell in love (the Giants won)!  I’m so confused!

So, here’s what I’m thinking – I’m open to any suggestions, but like any relationship, maybe I need to take it a little slow?  Maybe I need to ease my way into this before I make any long term commitments?   I’m just learning who I am in this relationship and maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to back up just a bit?  You know, see how we mesh?  See if it’s the real thing?  And hey, shouldn’t I keep myself open to the many other possibilities?  I am a young girl after-all and there seems to be quite a few teams out there I may want to consider – Plus, I have to think about the long term.  What are they offering me?  I’m not sure I’m ready for a commitment just yet.  I’m thinking I should at least go out on a date with each one before I commit to the first team that knocks on my door, right?


Well, the only thing I know for sure is that I’m not a Yankee fan or a Mets fan.  Sorry, but a girl’s gotta have standards and there are just some boys I will not date!


Dodgers are playing – gotta go!

(repost from 2009)

Copyright 2010 Carmen Lezeth Suarez