Video Bloggin’ It – Embrace Hell

Don’t you hate when you’re feeling down about life and someone comes along and tells you that you should be grateful?

Oh, they mean well for sure, but it’s probably the last thing I want to hear.

The truth is, I believe that being grateful is something we should BE every single day regardless of how we feel. Gratefulness shouldn’t be something we only grasp onto for dear life just when we’re struggling and in pain.

When you’re feeling badly, I think it’s actually okay to just feel bad.  It’s part of the human condition.  Sometimes we feel bad, sometimes we feel good.  It’s just the way it is.

The real problem comes when we deny that we’re feeling badly. Some people, when depressed, sad, or angry cover up those feelings by eating or drinking, doing drugs  or by creating “happy” thoughts or focusing on someone or something else – never truly dealing with what ails them.  That’s called DENIAL.  It’s also a LIE.  And lying to one-self usually always leads to all sorts of other problems.

When we lie to ourselves about how we’re feeling, no matter what the feeling, we inevitably end up hurting ourselves and others.  We end up destroying relationships, definitely destroying trust, and always deteriorating our own lives, whether we realize it or not.

Lying to oneself should never be an option.

So, if you’re feeling down, if you’re sad, depressed and angry, embrace it.  Deal with it.  No, I’m not a doctor but this is what works for me.  If you embrace the truth of how you’re feeling, then you can at least deal with it.  Now, for some people depending on the circumstance, that might mean getting professional help and that’s perfectly okay to!  Never be embarrassed for getting help.  Be proud of yourself for knowing what you don’t know and having the courage to understand it!   For others, just accepting that you’re having a tough time might be the first step in getting through it.

Winston Churchill has this great quote – it’s one of my favorites:

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

When you’re in “hell” don’t deny that you’re there.  Accept it, deal with it, and find a way out.  If you keep denying the truth, then all you do is continue to walk around in circles, staying right where you’ve always been:  in your own personal “hell”.

When I’m depressed or sad or whatever negative “ism” I might be in, I accept it and then give myself a time limit to deal with it. That may be 5 minutes to cry or sulk, or sometimes, it can be two days, it just depends,  but I don’t deny it , I don’t lie to myself about it, and I don’t let it fester.  And once I’m done “feeling” badly, I find a way out of “hell”.  Maybe that means picking up the phone and calling a friend or going out for a walk to just get a little change of pace, but the point is I start finding a way to move through it.  Ironically, knowing that I’m trying to get myself out of it, always makes me feel a little better.

Never deny, always be truthful to yourself, and find a way to get passed it.

By the way, this is harder.  Working through hell is hard.  It’s always much easier to sit and fester and stay in what we know – even if it is painful.  So, I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying, it’s worth it.  Because once you find yourself out of your own personal hell, there really is something on the other side.

Here’s the video blog I made for Michael …sorta same info, a little different flavor!

Peace, love and all that good stuff!

23 thoughts on “Video Bloggin’ It – Embrace Hell

  1. I really don’t think you can be sincere with others at all – if you’re not first sincere with yourself. I believe that with all my heart. Otherwise you stand in danger of becoming an unintential phony. (I’ve done that many times actually). You can become the phony who says to others “cheer up! It could be worse.”

    (See what I did there?) 🙂

    You know what? I put your video blog on full screen and….it kind of felt like being on a coffee date with an absolutely gorgeous woman. Anyway, it got me smiling, so thanks for that.

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    • Wolfie, thank YOU for the sweet compliment, but I’m worried about you: what kind of coffee dates are you going on that such therapy is involved? Ha!

      I love the word “Sincere”…wish I had used it. It’s absolutely perfect! Ugghh…wish I could re-do my blog (It’s such a love hate thing, writing huh?).

      Glad to know I made someone smile today. Mwuaah!

      Carmen

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  2. That video rocked. 🙂

    I talk to someone in Germany on a regular basis and we’ve pretty much got the timing worked out.

    And yeah, people do offer up comments like that a lot. I take them well. They might not change how I feel but I appreciate the effort. I take those comments as a sign that they care about me.

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    • Thanks Tom! Ha! (That video rocked? Wow, next time I’ll try and put on make-up and not be in my work-out clothes! That might be the best compliment I’ve ever gotten! Hugs, hugs and more hugs!).

      It really is about timing, huh? I’m not great with the skype thing, but am so grateful for it so I do the best I can.

      But yes, you’re right and it’s a great point, people care so they do the best they can. But I think because I now know how annoying it can be to hear “cliche-esque” advice, I try to say nothing at all and just be an ear for someone to vent to, to cry to and such. I hope they still know I care though…hmmm…

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  3. Another great post, and I really loved the video! You should consider doing more of them. Your warmth and sincerity comes through so well, and you really are very attractive!

    When I’m going through a rough patch, which is a rather frequent occurrence as you know, the worst thing those who care about me can do is to allow what I’m going through to ruin their day as well. More than likely, I’m suffering an overload of “I’m such a screw up” thinking already, and more fuel for the fire is not what I need.

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    • Aaahhh…I may just do more video blogs. Thank you…I love the thought that I’m warm and sincere! That’s pretty sweet! I’ve been called a lot of things in my life and “warm” and “sincere” are not words I’ve heard before!

      (this video blogging thing sure has lifted my spirits today!)

      I agree completely with the “adding fuel” to the fire thing. I hate when I’m feeling bad and because I decide to vent or spew, it makes someone else worry or feel bad…I hear you and I’ve been there. But, then I realize — that’s kinda what we’re all here for: to love. And sometimes to love, means to help someone else along, sometimes taking a bit of the burden off of them. The trick, is to let people love you and let them help you… uhm, but that’s a whole other blog, huh?

      😉

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  4. BGC!!!!

    What can I say that has not already been said? You are cool and wonderful and so at ease on camera. Loved it!

    I am beginning to play with the Skype thing. I am going to have my first practice session with my little brother, The Kid, this coming Saturday.

    Your Ever Loving,

    Roger

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    • Skype rocks, you’ll want to be on it all the time and then, like everything else, it’ll find it’s place and time in your life. But how cool! Have fun on Saturday.

      (psst…I didn’t realize you thought I was cool. Wonderful yes, but cool…that just made my day!).

      My Rog! (with SS’s permission of course!),

      Forever BGC.

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  5. Well, firstly I have to talk about the video. As always Carmen, you look and sound great! As I’ve probably said before you are very natural on camera, you come across as sincere and sweet every time I see you and it doesn’t matter what you’re talking about. I will say, it’s no Pantene commercial though, if you know what I mean, haha.

    I couldn’t agree more with what you wrote, shocking I know. Deal with it when you’re in it and you’ll get out of it a lot sooner than if you try to cover it up and ignore it. I love that quote too, the “If you’re going through hell, keep going”! It doesn’t have quite the flair that this Churchill quote has, “Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put”, but it’s far more appropriate to your topic, haha.

    😉

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    • I’m dealing as best I can JM. Are you making fun of me and the Pantene commercial? Awe and I thought you liked me? Good thing I have Roger. Hmmm…

      😉

      ..the other quote bothers me something fierce, aahh, but that’s why you did that, huh? Funny boy… just remember, now I owe you one, maybe two…

      🙂

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      • I’m not making fun of you at all, I loved the Pantene commercial!! It was so cute, so sweet. Fantastic. I think there was some serious vote buying going on there that kept you from winning! Do I have to go out and buy some Pantene to prove it? Is that what you want Carmen? Cause I’ll do it…
        😉
        Ha! I can’t even say that quote out loud or in my head unless I concentrate really hard, it’s just WRONG! That’s why I like it though. So ‘maybe’ you owe me a couple, I’ll sleep with one eye open just in case…
        🙂

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            • Hahahahahaha! Wow, I got you back already and I haven’t even tried. Excellent!

              Awe..I’m just joshing boo. I’m all bark, little tiny bite — more like kiss on the cheek. I swear. *hugs*

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              • Well that counts as 1 then. So now you only have 1 left that you owe me. Use it well Carmen, use it well, hahaha.

                Oh, and that’s alright, I like a little bark once in a while. Nothing wrong with nibbling either, ha!

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  6. Carmen,
    To be honest and listen to ourselves is much more important than to seem positive and grateful. “To seem” or “to be”? Everyone has a choice.
    I agree with you. When I’m sad, I cry. When I’m happy, I laugh. In my opinion it means to be alive, it means to be yourself, it means to be genuine.
    I like your video blog. Watching the video I felt like I was talking to my good friend.
    Helen.

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    • You’re so right Helen — everyone does have a choice! I like that.

      And because of technology I’d like to say we are friends! We may have never “met” otherwise.

      (love your new picture!).

      Hugs,
      Carmen

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  7. Wow. Nice video! I think you should do a series. I’ll put some music to them. Whadya think? That would be fun!

    I appreciated your message, very much. Preach it, Sistah! 🙂

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  8. Own it love it, cry, and stomp it out, and then the breakdown will support the break thru…had one this week, and whew…I am open for the break thru!
    Give thanks Gracias hermana
    Peace

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