Don’t you hate when you’re feeling down about life and someone comes along and tells you that you should be grateful?
Oh, they mean well for sure, but it’s probably the last thing I want to hear.
The truth is, I believe that being grateful is something we should BE every single day regardless of how we feel. Gratefulness shouldn’t be something we only grasp onto for dear life just when we’re struggling and in pain.
When you’re feeling badly, I think it’s actually okay to just feel bad. It’s part of the human condition. Sometimes we feel bad, sometimes we feel good. It’s just the way it is.
The real problem comes when we deny that we’re feeling badly. Some people, when depressed, sad, or angry cover up those feelings by eating or drinking, doing drugs or by creating “happy” thoughts or focusing on someone or something else – never truly dealing with what ails them. That’s called DENIAL. It’s also a LIE. And lying to one-self usually always leads to all sorts of other problems.
When we lie to ourselves about how we’re feeling, no matter what the feeling, we inevitably end up hurting ourselves and others. We end up destroying relationships, definitely destroying trust, and always deteriorating our own lives, whether we realize it or not.
Lying to oneself should never be an option.
So, if you’re feeling down, if you’re sad, depressed and angry, embrace it. Deal with it. No, I’m not a doctor but this is what works for me. If you embrace the truth of how you’re feeling, then you can at least deal with it. Now, for some people depending on the circumstance, that might mean getting professional help and that’s perfectly okay to! Never be embarrassed for getting help. Be proud of yourself for knowing what you don’t know and having the courage to understand it! For others, just accepting that you’re having a tough time might be the first step in getting through it.
Winston Churchill has this great quote – it’s one of my favorites:
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
When you’re in “hell” don’t deny that you’re there. Accept it, deal with it, and find a way out. If you keep denying the truth, then all you do is continue to walk around in circles, staying right where you’ve always been: in your own personal “hell”.
When I’m depressed or sad or whatever negative “ism” I might be in, I accept it and then give myself a time limit to deal with it. That may be 5 minutes to cry or sulk, or sometimes, it can be two days, it just depends, but I don’t deny it , I don’t lie to myself about it, and I don’t let it fester. And once I’m done “feeling” badly, I find a way out of “hell”. Maybe that means picking up the phone and calling a friend or going out for a walk to just get a little change of pace, but the point is I start finding a way to move through it. Ironically, knowing that I’m trying to get myself out of it, always makes me feel a little better.
Never deny, always be truthful to yourself, and find a way to get passed it.
By the way, this is harder. Working through hell is hard. It’s always much easier to sit and fester and stay in what we know – even if it is painful. So, I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying, it’s worth it. Because once you find yourself out of your own personal hell, there really is something on the other side.
Here’s the video blog I made for Michael …sorta same info, a little different flavor!
Peace, love and all that good stuff!