Where I’ve Been – Imaginatary

/ Carmen Suarez

Enjoy the Podcast or the Written Word (transcribed):

*

Kid Imaginatary ME

When I was a little girl I used to sit in this corner of our apartment. It was kinda the kitty- corner to the kitchen. And I was real little. My mom was alive back then so I was probably about 6 or 7. And I would sit in this one space and I would create these universes.  I pretended to be able to walk into another parallel universe bending time and space and I would play in those other places – like they were always so magnificent too!  And I remember thinking I was pretty “genius-like”.  And sometimes the adults in the house would come by and shake me because I guess I’d be zoning out. But they’d be asking me, “Are you okay?” and “What are you doing?”

And I would just be imagining.  I would just be creating.

And I yearn for that now.

It wasn’t a way to escape. My life was fine, it was pretty normal.  Before my mom died, life was me being a little girl.  Very simple.  And there was this freedom and encouragement to be by your-self imagining the world.

For the past 3 to 6 weeks I have been doing what I can to get back to that space of pure imagination and creativity.  And you know, it’s not as easy as I wish it were because as an adult we have all these other things that we bring to the table, right?  Is it going to be a good enough creation? Is it going to be cost effective? Will people like it? All of a sudden there’s all this other stuffage that comes with being imaginative. And so, for the past 6 weeks or so, I’ve kinda just been being quiet. And trying to put my life in such a way that I can be that little girl playing by herself imagining a different universe in the kitty-corner of the kitchen.

I’ve also been doing what I can to eliminate circumstances in my life that don’t allow me to easily create. And so that’s also been part of what I’ve been doing.  Walking away from certain people or certain positions, or certain areas of my life that I don’t think are conducive to the kind of joy and creativity I want in my life every day, so, we’ll see…

But I’m back today. And if any of you have any other ideas or suggestions on how to stay in that beautiful, creative, imaginatary – did I just make up a word? Imaginatary?  – space,  (I’m gonna say that I just made up a word, but basically I just misspoke, but it’s all good!) I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

Thanks.  Have a sweet day!

Carmen

*Music by Chris Zabriskie, Prelude No. 23, Licensed by Creative Commons 

9 thoughts on “Where I’ve Been – Imaginatary”

  1. A wonderful post. I first read the text – and then listened to the podcast. Which enhanced the message even more. And, yes, somehow in the transition from childhood to adulthood we lose that creative skill in which we just create without any restrains. Finding that boy or girl again is always hard. One thing that has worked for me is smell. Some smells just bring me right back to that childhood state of mind. I have noticed them incidentally when I come across them, and then later on consciously used them to bring myself back into that state of mind.

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  3. I chose the podcast over the written word. Move over Blake Lively – there’s another captivating and soothing voice in town.

    I know what you mean about that space. I used to live in a lot back when I was kid, so much so that my dad chastised me for it once.

    The only way I know to stay in that kind of atmosphere is by reading, reading, reading. When I was young, I was into Tolkien in a big way, because of the intricate and involved world that he created. Because of its magic, it was far more compelling than my own world, which seemed just so full of hurt that there was no getting away from it.

    The hurt went away, but the habit and the captivation with other realities remained.

    As an adult, there are a number of ways to get back into the creative space. I often find I yearn for that spot, because I know it would feed my writing so much more. I mean, it’s okay to be grammatically correct, and all but that alone doesn’t bring the *life* that you look for, that thing that transport you (and hopefully your audience) elsewhere and elsewhen.

    Improv comedy classes go a small way toward getting you there, I think. I know of no other place where you’re given license to act like a kid again and play “let’s pretend”. One of these days soon I’m going back to it. I miss it so much.

    My “go-to” book for getting into that space, now that I think of it, is “Jitterbug Perfume”, which I’ve read at least a dozen times or more. I realize now that the reason it’s so compelling is that it truly provokes the reader’s imagination. You end up being caught up not only in the story itself, but in the many possibilities it provokes you to consider. And it’s consistent that way, despite the re-reading (and re-re-reading).

    Fascinating blog, Carmen. I can picture that little girl in the kitty-corner of the kitchen, lost in her imagination.

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    • First, Wolfie — I know how much you love Blake Lively so I am more than thrown by that beautifully awesome compliment! Thank you so much! Secondly, I love what you wrote and I agree! Completely. I read Jitterbug Perfume because of YOU! Years ago, if you remember. Ahhh.. how lovely the internet is. And yes, I do love my Improv classes for sure — we should both get back to it. And Tolkien? Come on. Are you sure we’re not related? I think I might be the girl you and you’re the boy me… hahahahaha! Much love to you sweetness. You just made my afternoon…

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      • You’re welcome. : ) Only speaking the truth here. I was surprised when I heard your voice after clicking “play”. I expected “normal” (whatever that is) not “warm”. Could feel my blood pressure relax a bit. Very very nice.

        Improv! It’s on, baby! Let’s both get back to it.

        Tolkien never assumed his audience were anything other than intelligent; he made you want to look stuff up just so you could make sure you understood what he was saying. Maybe I should have taken a hint from my addiction to his books, and realize that whatever it was that made me procrastinate or struggle with school wasn’t stupidity (I didn’t realize until many years later it was ADHD, and for me, quite normal). God bless that man.

        It’d be cool if we were related but….unless you have some Mohawk in your bloodline, it’s not likely. (There’s me, being literal again). !! : )

        Good luck with your creating, you wonderful girl!

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