Letter to Uni: I Was Here

March 14th, 2016

Monday 5:30am

Dear Uni,

It was a tough week. I didn’t recover as quickly as I wanted to from surgery – my doctor had told me as much, but, you know… somehow I thought my superhuman strength would prevail… Ha!

Later in the week I did finally step out into the world.  Unintentionally I met two women, maybe in their 20’s, who got into a conversation with me about LIFE.  Funny, when I think about it – they had no idea who they were talking to…  but I played along with what was before me and at one point the one named Carol said to me, “You’re problem is you’re an eternal optimist.”  Her meaning was somewhat negative, her tone was trite.  I, of course, took it as a compliment!  I mean, honestly what is an “eternal optimist” to do?

I do love the light.  I respect the darkness because without darkness there is no love of light. So, yes, even in the midst of any thing “bad” in my life, I always find my way through to where my breath finds hope… it’s how I made it here.  It’s how I’ve kept on my unwavering journey all these years.

The other woman, Jade, questioned me;  “What would you do if you died right now? What would be the point of it all?”  I smiled and without missing a beat, I replied, “Do you know that song: ‘I Was Here’ by Beyonce?  That’s kind of my anthem.  I wake up every morning feeling grateful to still be here, and just hoping I can be better, do better and maybe make a difference in someone else’s life. Because I am here now – and when I die, even if it’s just one persons life I touched and made just a tiny bit better – then, that will have all been worth it”.

They both looked at me like I had just told them some incredible secret.

Maybe, in a way, I did.

 

Loving today something fierce,

Carm.