He was my first crush.

My first concert.

I loved George. I will always love George.

His music, beginning with the WHAM days, was just pure fun, happy, poppy kind of stuff.  Music that made my heart beat, my soul sing… at a time when my World was anything but happy or fun.  1982-1983ish. White boys rapping?  Are you kidding me?  But I loved it.  I loved every moment of it.

I can’t stop tearing. When George did that duet with Aretha Franklin, he was then legitimized to the World.  His faithful always knew he had chops. But this milestone marked the beginning of his trek to stardom…for good and bad.   Faith.

I listen to George all the time. Still.  I work-out to his music regularly, daily.  I get newsletters from his website… he tweets and emails his “lovelies” – and yes, UN-apologetically, I’m one of those.

I’ve been a fan since day one: Wham years. It’s the only reasons I follow the BBC — yeah, I say it’s to stay on top of what’s going on in the world, but it’s always been secretly to keep tabs on my first crush.  It always bothered me that the U.S. fanbase never welcomed him back fully, so for a time, it was hard to get any news.  Thankfully, came the internet and social media that made it much easier to keep in touch with this beautiful man, exquisite writer, amazing vocalist (one point for the internet).  One More Try.

Like most, I fell deeper in love with George when he “came out” (as if his fans didn’t know), although I have to admit, I secretly prayed that if he met me, he’d cop to being Bi and somehow I’d be okay with that and we’d make a go of it!  Hey, a girl can dream.  What fascinated me most was that his “coming out” didn’t alienate his girly fan base at all  – it just made his music that much cooler, that much sweeter, the love songs even deeper and even more profound. And his heart-ache more evident to the rest of us.  An Easier Affair.

I’m sad. George’s music is the background theme to my childhood trek. It’s all the good stuff I remember. I feel good when I listen to his velvety soothing voice.  I feel whole somehow.

I hope he’s better now — resting. He gave his best, and yet it seems that he never was content or found any kind of peace.  But his music…well, to me — is everything. It always gives me comfort…and always gives me hope.  Somebody To Love.

I shall miss Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou. My George Michael.  Forever and a day.

Rest in sweet peace beautiful man, rest in sweet peace.

And thank you.

Carmen, one of your Lovelies.