I had to make a difficult decision.  For what it’s worth, the difficult part was knowing my decision would end up hurting someone else. 

I wish I could divulge exactly what it is, but it really isn’t appropriate. Suffice it to say, I needed to “rat” someone out about their wrongdoings.  Yeah, that’s exactly it.

Let’s just say someone was “stealing” and management didn’t know about it.  I found out and actually watched it happen in real time. Now the person in question knows I’ve gone to the higher-ups. Of course, this individual is livid. They knew I wouldn’t keep quiet.  To my surprise, everyone else in the company has known about it for quite some time and no one stepped up to say something…

That’s so depressing to me.

I can’t decide if it’s cowardice or if people are just afraid for their own safety? But wow! Whatever it is, it saddened me. If you can’t do the right thing for moral reasons, how can you know someone else might be hurt if you didn’t stand up and say something? I couldn’t live with knowing that I could have prevented something… Goodness.  

Anyways, when I see something, I say something, period. Of course, there is nuance to everything, but this is blatant, straight up, stealing. It is wrong. It is bad for everyone else and it hurts our bottom line, therefore hurts everyone’s well-being here. How do people not see that?    

Some had suggested I quit INSTEAD of “ratting out” this person.  The truth is everyone in the company is afraid of this one individual. A bully. So, I get it. This individual has a lot of pull and yet, the one thing about me you can be sure of is:  I can’t stand a bully. And this individual knows it.  I’ve been cordial to the best of my ability, professional and have kept my distance, but this is different. Now I’m getting involved.  I’m aware that all their ire will be directed towards me for quite some time. I get it. Completely.  I’m gonna do what I’m gonna do, anyways.

Bring. It. On.   

Now, I can’t lie, my initial thought was to just quit the company. There are two other companies interested in working with me and I don’t take that kind of opportunity lightly. I understand, especially in this day and age what a blessing it is to be wanted for your talent and expertise.  So, I started interviewing with them a few weeks back. I began the process… 

All of my friends, colleagues and family were excited for me. Encouraging me to move on and not deal with the situation at hand.  “Take any position offered and get out of that place,” was said more than once.  They were adamant that this was the right way to go. Even though in my gut, I wasn’t feeling it. I’m settled, where I work right now – there’s a damn pandemic going on – the last thing I want to do is have to move on top of everything else! I’ve been here for years and I have a good rapport with management. They would do anything to keep me – why am I giving in to the bully? Why am I moving everything I’ve established just because someone else is doing wrong? 

No. Absolutely NOT.

Now, my safety is a concern for sure. Bullies tend to rage when you “out” them and this individual definitely knows I’m aware of what’s going on and is trying to be overly friendly to me in order to coerce…compliance?  Yeah, not gonna happen. 

I made the decision to stay where I am until I’m ready move on.  When the right opportunity comes along, I’ll take it. But not before. I will not make a decision based on fear.  That means I need to deal with the situation at hand and even though it’s not going to be pretty, it’s the right thing to do.

My anxiety level has calmed down ten-fold since I decided to stay and fight.  When things just don’t sit right, I feel it in my whole body. I know when I’m doing the wrong thing, the fear thing, the running from responsibility thing.  That can be more damaging to my sense of self, more than anything else. 

I will do everything I can to protect myself.  I’ve already talked to the police. I’ve gotten legal advice and I’ve contacted the right people to help walk me through this part. I’m encouraged by the support I’m getting now that I’ve vocalized taking care of the situation to the best of my ability – doing my part. 

As I’m sitting here writing this piece, I just noticed four emails and one text from others in the company willing to back me and go to management to right this wrong…

Hmmmm…  Maybe people need to know that someone is willing to take a stand before they can step up behind you and support the right thing?  I’m okay with all of that.  

It’s gonna be a good day after-all. 

Carmen