Starved for Human Decency – The Tom Cruise Dilemma

/ Carmen Suarez

It’s the negativity for me.

It seems like a constant. Is this who we’re becoming?  I really fear it’s who we are now and it needs to stop – change course.

You walk down the street and people don’t make eye contact, rarely say hello. If you’re driving no one let’s another person by, and if they do – we’re shocked – not enough to wave and say thank you, but shocked, nonetheless.  If someone holds a door for another person or God-forbid someone helps an elderly person across the street, someone films it and posts about it on FB and calls them a hero. We’ve become ridiculous.   

We’re so starved for just basic human decency and yet we don’t even notice how harsh we’ve become to each other, to kids, to ourselves regularly. 

I just posted a tweet yesterday after reading way too many comments about the sighting of Tom Cruise at a baseball game between the Giants and Dodgers. Most every comment was questioning whether it was him or not, but mostly it was an exercise in cruelty that if it was him, he somehow had let himself go…

For people who don’t know – Tom Cruise is 59 years old.

Now, on the one hand, I guess I can say “bravo” – finally there is some equality – men are being abused and criticized for their looks as they’re getting older too – just as women always have?  No, that’s not the way it should go!  My goodness.

But the truth is, it’s a bigger problem than just that. Sadly, we’re becoming a crueler kind of people. We have lost all sense of kindness on a regular basis that when we do see it, we film it, tweet it, Facebook it and make a huge deal about it. Honestly, it’s so sad. Watching so many people hungry for human connection, for love and yet, unable to see how easily they contribute to all the nasty negativity themselves.  

You can change this. I can change this. Let’s start by doing this today.

Here are a few EASY tips to start practicing on the regular:

Smile more. Smile to a stranger at the grocery store. Smile to another person in the car lane next to you. Smile while you’re working out. Smile when you’re dealing with a customer service person, on the phone or in person.  Smile even when you’re alone.  Smile as much as possible. The way to stop having a world of negativity is to start generating joy yourself!  Smiling is the easiest way to do this! 

Start practicing basic kindness. Hold the door open for someone and let them walk in first with no expectations. Say something lovely to someone on social media – “Great pic with that fabulous outfit! You look amazing!” Of if you’re brave enough, say it to them in person!

Start thinking about your own manners. Do you even have them? Do you even know what they are?  Do you thank people for the services they provide to you? Not just by paying them, but by actually saying “Thank you”.  How gracious are you really?  Do you say “Good morning” or “Excuse me”?  Manners really are just a reflection of your compassion and empathy for another person.  Let me say that again – Having manners has nothing to do with being bougie or proper and everything to do with being more concerned about how you treat another person.  This is the bedrock of being a kind person. Oh, and a note to parents: stop telling your kids to do these things when you yourself are the worst reflection of having basic manners. I see this all the time. It truly boggles my mind. Kids will follow your behavior, not your orders.

That’s how it starts. With you. With me. With a smile.

Now go out there and start spreading some joy y’all. Let’s make this world a better place! I still have faith we can get this done! 

With love and always a smile,

Carmen

9 thoughts on “Starved for Human Decency – The Tom Cruise Dilemma”

  1. I felt exactly the same as you did regarding Tom Cruise. It might be because he is older, or gained weight but he still deserves our respect. Given that his personality seems a tad obsessive, he might go on some crazy diet just to appease the paparazzi. What I did notice was that he was genuinely smiling on a day out with his son.
    This year I have noticed that I have aged, yet forget I am 61. We may all have lost our perspective in the pandemic.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, I love that thought, “We may have lost our perspective…”. I believe you are so right. And yet, I don’t know how we stop the cruelty. He was smiling wasn’t he? Great point as always! Sending you a hug! Have a beautiful day and thank you for the perspective. 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am trying very hard to remain balanced even though I live in Texas with a Governor that would be more suited to life in the Taliban… My husband is so angry that he considered leaving Texas and the USA. I pointed out to him that the sensible people have to stay and vote! When speaking to neighbors who are more conservative, I can hear that they are terrified of a different and uncertain future. I think this provokes much of the awful behavior you see on the news.
        Love and hugs to you, Carmen. K x

        Liked by 1 person

        • I have a friend in Fort Worth. He used to live here in Los Angeles — I have to stop myself from sending him daily texts that I’m praying for him and his family and wishing he’d come back to California… You are right though, sensible people need to stay and fight, vote. It’s hard, but our democracy and our country are worth it. I live in a very blue state and even a very blue area — and our Governor (Newsom), whether you agree with his politics or not, is a good man. I may not always agree with him, but I do not question his motives or love of people over profit. I certainly don’t think his motives are ever about winning the next election and definitely not about a man like republicans seem to be doing in relations to Trump. It’s mind-boggling. But, I wouldn’t blame you for moving out of a Red State. The promises of Texas becoming purple and voting in a Democrat seem daunting but doable. But if you do move — please do not leave our country!! We need you!!!

          Liked by 1 person

          • Did you know that Texas was a blue state in the 1970s and one of the most beloved DEMOCRATIC Governors was Ann Richards? Never give up hope. We are slowing leaning into a blue state and the Republicans are frightened. I was born in San Francisco so I am a left leaning hippy at heart. Not only that but I was brought up in public housing in Scotland with only a Labor and Communist candidate to vote for!! The Conservatives saw no point in setting foot there. My Economics lecturer at college was the local Communist candidate. I thoroughly enjoy telling/scaring my friends and neighbors about my alternative background. “Bless her heart,” they say. That’s how you frighten Texans at Halloween – ha ha! 🎃
            PS I was lambasting about being 5% Native American and being the last to leave Texas (which is a native word meaning friend) – but omitted that I am 5% Mexican Native American. It’s a new border anyway…

            Liked by 1 person

  2. “You’ll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile.”
    Charlie Chaplin composed the “smile song” and your article reminded me of its simplicity to help all of us each day.
    I try to smile at everyone I come in contact with and try to compliment people I see while walking my 10,000 steps. I have gotten to know several and it gives me a warm feeling when I see their smile greeting me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love that! I just looked up the Charlie Chaplin Smile Song (Nat King Cole). This is so beautiful! Thank you for posting. And yes, I’m amazed at how many people I have met just because I’ve smile while walking along my neighborhood. Such an easy thing to do:
      For those who’d like to watch/listen to this lovely song:

      Like

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