What I Crave Is Calm Around Me

January 27th, 2022 Thursday morning 6:53am

There are few things on the planet that I claim without question:  when I danced and performed, I was not just “good” I was brilliant. Yeah. I said what I said. You heard that right. I was a kid, but I was born with it and I loved it. Period.

That’s the only thing you’ll ever hear me talk about with such conviction.

The other thing I’m pretty good at is, being extremely organized and great at following directions.  I prefer it. It’s not that I can’t waver into being creative and spontaneous, but I am one of those people who starts her day off with a To-Do list and I enjoy crossing things off as I go along. I would rather know what you need and how you need it done than figure it out for myself – but, yes, if given the time and correct information, I’m an ace when it comes to fixing your office procedures, organizing your schedule and generally getting you to a place of a simpler, cleaner and just easier – less stressful – way of doing things. Period. (I’m gonna be saying “period” a lot in this post because I’m uber pissed!).

I wish I could say it’s something I was taught, but I’ve been this way since I was a little kid. I used to rearrange and clean my bedroom as a little girl, just for fun. I know, cray, right?  My mother used to say things like, we may be poor but we’re not going to behave like we’re poor – meaning, our house would never be dirty or unkempt. There has always been some association with A) being poor was a bad thing and B) being unkempt meant something bad and associated with poverty? I don’t know. But I knew from as far as I can remember that how you presented yourself mattered. And so that, along with maybe just being born with it, made me someone who prefers organization to chaos. Oh, and I’m a Capricorn. I don’t know anything about Astrology, nor do I believe in it, but whenever I meet someone who asks me what my “sign” is and I tell them, they always reply with, “Oh, yeah, that makes total sense.” Honestly, I don’t think they’re giving me a compliment at all…  but oh well.

So, let me tell you – when I come across someone who tells me over and over again that they are organized and detailed and prefer to do things in a very systematic way, I’m over the moon to have met such a person. Especially if it’s someone I’m starting to work for…

But when that person ends up not being that at all, I’m beside myself!  My good Lord – if you don’t know what you’re good at and you don’t know what your weaknesses are way past the age of let’s say 40, how have you made it this far?  Or better yet why are you still lying to people? 

There is no glory or ill-will in being either a very organized person or not a very organized person.  They’re just different styles of functioning.  I don’t know where along the way people got it into their heads that claiming to be an organized person is better than being a person who thrives in chaos. They both have their pros and cons.  An organized person may get more things done by planning their day, but let one thing go wrong, and the entire day is thrown into a tailspin, and they’ll get nothing done! An unorganized person will thrive in spontaneity and can get things done regardless of what’s thrown their way! I mean, it’s not a competition people!  It’s just a factual thing. Just like saying, “I’m a morning person” – somehow translates to “I’m a better person because I wake at 5 am and start my day?  Do you ever notice that? People who tend to sleep later or stay up late, always feel bad if they can’t get up at 5am.  Dude, what the fudge? I get up at 5am most every day because I can’t sleep later – it’s not a choice, it’s just the way I was made!  I also go to bed pretty early and always have – you know how hard that is when most of your friends are night people? And you were a dancer and you’d want to hang out ang go clubbing…. Ugghh!   

Okay, okay, vent over. 

Look, I just wish people understood that there is no harm in being one way or the other. But when you falsely claim that you are something you are not, you put others in a bind. I am exhausted by this new client I’m working with and I’m considering moving on because the chaos in just trying to understand what it is they want and need is just not worth what they’re paying me.  Honestly, it’s just not worth my energy because, at the end of the day, adding stress to my life is NOT an option.  What I crave is calm around me – and calm doesn’t mean lack of energy, it just means honesty so we can tackle what needs to be tackled, together.  If I know what you need, then I can fix it – otherwise, you’re just stressing me out.

And honestly, I just don’t do stress.

4 thoughts on “What I Crave Is Calm Around Me

  1. I was never an organized person at all but had to become at least a *little* bit so, if only to save me from anxiety. And having ADHD means if I don’t at least have a schedule or checklist, I’m going to miss getting a lot of stuff done because for sure I’ll forget about it when the next shiny thing comes along.

    It’s really important for work purposes too. If there’s no list to check off I’m completely lost. And then the anxiety will ramp up because I have bosses waiting on stuff.

    As for judgments….yeah. I hear you on that. People forget we’re not supposed to be carbon copies of each other, and that our differences are actually a good thing, for ourselves and for society in general.

    It’s how I’ve structured my team at my workplace. Each person has different abilities and tendencies and those differences help our team to thrive. So why would I judge any of it? For example I’m *horrible* at working with nit-picky details, whereas a member of team thrives on the nitty-gritty of a project. It all works together. : )

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    • Thank you for your comment. Anonymous comments are always automatically deleted, but there are some great points here, so I untrashed. Thank you for stopping by. I hope you’ll stop by again in the future.


  2. Well, I’m not too much of an organized kind of guy, but I keep my immediate space workable.

    In addition, I once served a union with the title of “organizer.” That has to count for something even though the newspaper I tried to form into a collective bargaining unit voted no. That failure lead me to go to law school where I was quite good at jury trials if I do say so myself!

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