I’ve always had an ability to sense who people are from the minute I meet them. In the past, I called it a gift, but I think it’s just something that has developed over time. I think we all have this ability. Some people call it “trusting their gut” or intuition – I’ve also heard it called “God’s whisper” once. I liked that a lot.
Whatever you choose to call it, I’m surprised by how many people don’t listen to it. Personally, I believe just like learning to walk and talk, it’s an important part of who we are – I’m always confused by people who say, “I felt something was off, but I didn’t listen to my gut.” That shocks me actually. Why wouldn’t you listen to your gut?
I listen to my “gut” always. It has never failed me. Not once.
Because I listen to my gut, I don’t let people into my life so easily. If my spidey sense goes up and I get a strange sense of a person, then I tread cautiously. I’ll always give the person a chance to surprise me, but I’ll be guarded. Most people are pretty simple to gauge. And yeah, people generally don’t surprise me. They just don’t.
The negative part is obvious – I don’t automatically trust most people I meet. It takes time. And I’m starting to realize that’s not a bad thing. Too many people take people “in” for all the wrong reasons. People flattering you, is not a reason to let someone into your life. Someone giving you fake props and pretending to help you… clear signs of bullshittery that you sense easily when you develop that “gut” skill. Honestly, you really shouldn’t walk around trusting every person on the planet. I know this is hard to take, but not everyone is supposed to be in your life. Some people are just meant to be there for a minute or are just passing through for a moment. It takes time to figure that out. You can be kind and cordial, but you don’t need to let everyone INTO your heart and emotional well-being just because they showed up along the path of your life’s journey. Because I always listen to my gut and keep my distance from those who are questionable unless they prove me wrong, I avoid a lot of unnecessary emotional attachment from people who just don’t matter.
Here’s a tip: The best way to keep toxicity out of your life is to avoid it to begin with!
Sometimes though that rare individual shows up in my life and my gut senses a bit of hesitance and my protection goes up. And then something happens and a light shines through and I realize my gut meant something completely different. When that happens, it’s such a good thing! When you really learn how to listen to your intuition, you can always understand what it meant and adjust accordingly. Good people and the people meant to be in your life, will never slip on through… developing that gut skill is a thing! Start listening to yours more often.
I’m sharing this as a reminder – because if we do a better job of listening to our gut in the first place, we can avoid toxic people that much easier from the beginning. And, if by chance someone slips on through and reveals their true selves, you can easily, without much effort dismiss them and walk away.
I do believe that the people we’re around the most – including on social media – help define who we are on a regular basis. If you hang around with toxicity, that’s what you’ll embody daily. If you have good energy around you daily, people who teach you, inspire you, share with you, bring joy and positivity in your life – then, that’s also what you’ll have around you most days.
That doesn’t mean you’ll have perfection – but having good people in your life is a decision. Use all the tools you’ve been given to decide WHO gets to be a part of your world. Choose wisely.
6 thoughts on “Having Good People In Your Life Is a Decision”
My son recently “unfriended” a young woman he had been friends with since high school> (He will be 30 years old on Wednesday.)
I “snoozed” her on Facebook after reading for the second or third time some really disturbing political stuff. The young girl I knew is not the same person I knew or maybe I just really didn’t know her at all . . .
In any case, it is good to know my son and I feel the same way about such toxic people.
Thanks for the reminder to help us all stay more healthy!
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I’m so glad you were able to cut her out of your life. And it’s even better to see how you and your son are so connected. People change. And sometimes that change just doesn’t fit in our lives anymore. I wish I knew that in my 30’s!! It would have made life so much easier (bravo to your son for being so on point about cutting people out when necessary!). 🤗
Over the past few years, I have become less fun to be with and I wonder if that could be seen as having some sort of toxicity. I am also not as positive as I once was. Just curious.
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Hey Tony, thank you for stopping by and commenting. I don’t know the answer, but I don’t think being “less fun” or “not as positive” as you used to be, equals toxicity. It’s if you treat others badly because of your own circumstance that would determine if you are toxic to others. We all change — it’s part of growing up — and it’s not a bad thing. I used to be a lot more “fun” too, but now I realize it’s not that I’m less “fun” — it’s that I’ve calmed down a bit. So, I think perspective matters. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re amazing! And I highly doubt you would intentionally be toxic or unkind to anyone. ❤️
Oh yeah, and not only is it our choice to the company we keep, but it’s also important as our primary circle of influence also can change who we are. Great points here, Carmen, and yes, the gut instinct is never wrong!
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Thank you Stuart! I appreciate you stopping by. 🙂
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