It’s hard not to get overwhelmed and find yourself stressed to the max. It’s part of life sometimes.  It’s worse when you have to be around people who are in a constant state of chaos and also when people behave in such a way as to cause more stress for you …

Some would say that you should remove yourself from that situation immediately. I would definitely say that if someone came to me with this kind of problem.

Unfortunately, as I find myself in this current situation, I am reminded it is not always so easy. Whether it’s work-related or it’s friends and family – or loud inconsiderate neighbors, it can be difficult to just separate yourself from the drama. You can’t always just quit your job or move out of your building at a moment’s notice. Trust me, this is the situation I find myself in today, but you can do things to make the situation tolerable. And the interesting part is, even just a temporary respite from these moments can sometimes change everything for the better.

Here are a few things I’ve incorporated into my life to deal with these difficult moments. Maybe they’re familiar and something you do to?

Reminding myself daily that this is only temporary.  We all know this, you know this, but it bears repeating because when we are IN IT, it’s so hard to remember this. And yes, this moment, this terrible time right now is temporary. This too shall pass…

Listen to music when you feel you’re about to lose it. – this works better for me than taking a deep breath and counting to ten. Although that may work for some, it’s not nearly as good as saying to someone, “Excuse me, I’ll be right back” and going to my car or going for a walk around the block or just finding a space to sit in and listening to some Prince, Whitney, Freddie or George or whatever music works for you. Lately, listening to Lizzo has been helpful in making me laugh out loud, her lyrics are “chef’s kiss”.

Write everything you’d want to say to someone, then trash it. – I have done this several times this week and then didn’t send the email and ended up trashing it instead. This allows you to vent that anger and get it out, without escalating the issue. I wanted to scream at one of my clients this past week and instead, I wrote out a long-winded email on why they’re complete idiots and why all of this is their fault, and then, I trashed it. It felt better. It helps because it clears the anger away so I can actually deal with the issue from a less emotional place and help the person from a place of positivity.

Preparing to change the circumstance. – If you know you need to change your job or move out of your apartment, then find a way to start the process, even in little ways. Edit your resume. Sign up for a rental listing. Just the act of starting to change your circumstance can be so healing. If you’re in a bad relationship, deciding to have a conversation with that person by a certain date might make you feel like you’re trying to find your way through it. Sometimes, in the doing, we can find some relief to that chest-thumping stress. 

Most people would boast about taking the day off. However, if you’re anything like me, you know a day off can just make the next day you return worse!  So, taking a day off may sound great, and I encourage anyone who can do it, to take the time they need – but for me, it’s more about ending the situations I am in that are not fulfilling my soul’s joy. For me, taking an hour or two off helps, while I work through all the next parts.  My end goal is always to eliminate the circumstance I don’t want to be in and get back to things that bring me joy.

It’s always all about the joy. Period.

Until next time,

Carmen

(Friends, in case you are not aware, I have a podcast – All About The Joy – that comes out weekly – you can listen to it wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. I cover many issues, always trying to find the joy, no matter the circumstance. Also, I have a YouTube channel, and would love for you to follow me there if you can so I can try and get those numbers up. Thank you so much for your follows, support and encouragement all these years! I appreciate you).