My Slice Of Pie

My Slice of Pie

As many people know, I recently traveled to Vermont and Boston to visit friends – it was an amazing trip.  And even though it was just to the East Coast and a place very familiar to me, it was one of the best “vacations” I’ve had in long while. I’m so glad I went.

Along my travels, I had dinner with Patty (well, Alden and Andy were there as well – but this is a story about my friend “Pie”, aka Patty).  She’s retired from working at the University of Vermont.  It’s where we first met.  She shared with me all the gifts she received at her retirement party.  They presented her with a book that included letters from students talking about why Patty Corcoran was special to them.  I had no idea and hadn’t been contacted to write anything – in all fairness to UVM, I took my name off their mailing and calling lists years ago… but still.  I should have written something for her book.  I was one of her students.

In her usual understanding and lovingly-filled way, as she flipped through the book casually, she asked me to write a little something and send it to her so she could “include it in the book” after-all.

Well, following is that little something — a note of thanks for Pie:

 

Why is Patty Corcoran special to me?  Well, that could easily fill an entire book.

I was never supposed to go to college. It wasn’t that no one mentioned the word “college” growing up, it just wasn’t tangible or realistic for most in my neighborhood.  So, imagine my surprise when I found myself signing in for orientation at the University of Vermont.

Now, I can’t find the right words to describe the amount of fear I had in going to college in the first place, but once I was there it was palpable.  Everything and anything was a reason for me to quit.  From my point of view, I wasn’t supposed to be there anyways.  Patty clearly had a different vision about my college career and from day one her support and commitment to me as a student was…remarkable.

My first experience in dorm life was a horrible one.  I was an older “non-traditional” student who had been assigned to live in Davis Hall with a roommate who was fresh out of high school and ready to explore her new-found freedom in college life. We clashed. We clashed on so many levels.  After many attempts to resolve the problem myself, I was ready to pack my bags and make my way back to Boston.  I was intimidated by my surroundings and not being able to get along with my roommate seemed to be my cue.  But Patty Corcoran intervened with the Director of Residential Life and got me moved immediately. That was the first time we met – officially anyways. She made it clear then and she would reiterate over the next four years, that any problem, any issue I needed help with, I was to contact her first before boarding a bus back to Boston.  That was my saving Grace.

The ability to comprehend someone’s fear and dissolve its power instantaneously is one of Patty’s notable qualities.  There was never an issue too difficult that she wouldn’t tackle and find some way to walk you through.  If there was a problem, she’d fix it. Period.

A better example of Patty’s importance to me came in another moment at UVM that was devastating for me personally.  I struggled with my grades. I couldn’t understand why exactly – I studied and studied and studied and I still failed tests or barely got a passing grade.  I was generally a “B” student in high school, most days without even trying – so again, I reasoned that college just wasn’t for the likes of me. True to form, Patty didn’t buy into that at all. She was convinced that I had what it took to get my bachelor’s degree and proposed that I get tested to see if I had a learning disability that we could work around.

Well, I wasn’t diagnosed with a learning disability, but it was determined that I didn’t have the necessary basic skills that most college students have when entering their first year.  I had been a stutterer as a kid, so this was yet another hurdle I didn’t think I could bare. The tests revealed other information: that I was a visual learner and did best verbally explaining things instead of writing them out on timed exams or taking lengthy multiple choice kind of tests.  Clearly, again, in my mind, this was more evidence that I wasn’t fit to be in this place.  That’s what I understood from the “diagnosis”. Combined with being Black, Latina, older, growing up poor…I was sure THIS was it, I’d be heading home soon enough.

But that’s not what Patty heard. 

What Patty heard was I needed to be able to take tests that were un-timed. That I needed to be able to verbally prove I knew the material.  That I needed to be able to write out answers to any questions without the pressure of a clock.  Patty made all that happen.  We sat and looked at my class schedule, she spoke to the professors who would allow for this adjustment and we changed my classes for those who would not.  Patty empowered me and taught me to work around any “disability” – and she reminded me, never to let anything deter me from my goals. But here’s the true brilliance of these moment if you haven’t figured it out yet:  Patty believing in me, having faith in me, is what made all of my studies and test taking after that so much easier.  Professors accommodating my needs was helpful, but Patty having the certainty that I was worthy…that was everything. When someone believes in you?  That’s a game-changer.

I could go on and on. As I’ve mentioned, I could write a book about Patty Corcoran’s importance to me during my days at UVM. Her ability to nonchalantly take any problem you have and turn it into a learning moment is priceless.  Her casual skill of reminding you how important you are to the world and how much you matter to her is remarkable.  And Patty does it all with a sense of joy and positivity —  and it’s always personal.  You are the most important person in the room when Patty is talking to you.  You are all that matters.  For the longest time I thought I was the only student she cared this much about – I was special.  When I realized Patty did this for many students at UVM, I can’t lie, I was a little jealous.  Okay, maybe a lot jealous!

But I understood in my senior year that Patty Corcoran was not just a gift to me, but a gift to UVM. A gift to anyone who had the privilege of knowing this wonderful woman.  She was a light, an inspiration, even during the tumultuous times of my four years at UVM. She was always positive and uplifting.  And like so many people I admire and aspire to be like, Patty makes you feel like a better person just by being her authentically cool self. She makes it all seem so easy.

When you’re with Pie, you will smile. You will feel joy.  And you will feel loved.  There’s a power in that and a strength in who Patty Corcoran is, that makes her the kind of woman I aspire to be every single day.

So yes, Patty Corcoran, is still very special to me.  My Pie.  I would have never made it through college without her.  Of this I have no doubt.  I am a better person for knowing her and grateful to still be able to call her my friend.

Thank you, Patty…for everything and congratulations on your retirement!

With love and gratitude always,

Carmen Suarez, Class of 1994

 

 

 

 

 

 

For The Love of Alden

I was out running.

I had forgotten to silence my cell.  The music and mind are not to be interrupted for that one workout hour. Every. Day. That’s the goal.

The text chimed loudly amidst Prince’s “Purple Rain”.  I stopped cold, annoyed at the interruption.  I checked the phone, attempting to just turn off all sound, I saw the alert message anyways.  It was from the East Coast.  Alden was in the hospital. He’d had a bike accident.

I skipped the rest of the text.

My heart sank.  This has happened to me before.  A text message and then, dread.  I felt my eyes well up. And I reminded myself to read the whole text first…stay calm and read the entire text.

Alden & Jame Startt, lead guitarist for the Parisian funk band, Urban Groove Unit; incomparable vlogger (Tour Talk); and the best photographer of cyling alive today (see Peloton Magazine).

Alden is this beautiful man who is a cross between Robert Redford, Anthony Bourdain and the best friend you could ever have – even if you’d just met him a minute ago, you’d feel it.  He’s intellectually brilliant, his voice is sexy and his energy perfection. I honestly think he’s maybe the hottest guy I’ve ever known – definitely the most beautiful man I’ve ever laughed with –  and I know if he were reading this right now, he’d be blushing, giggling.  He’d try real hard to be mad at me all at the same time humbled by my awe of him. His genuine humility, his authenticity, is probably the sexiest thing about him. And yeah, he’s easy on the eyes for sure.

Alden is a cyclist.  He travels the world and adventures for most of the year meeting the most amazing people, taking the most incredible pictures and just personifies to me – “enjoying life”.  He calls Vermont home, but I think Alden brings a sense of home to wherever he is and to whomever you are. He connects with everyone, from any background, anywhere.  You can’t help but be comfortable in his space – he just has that kind of energy. It’s a gift.  I honestly don’t know one person who has ever said a bad thing about him. But then again, no one would dare say a word to me – I’d kick their butt if they did.

I read the entire text.

Alden was reading my book while “recovering” — he broke his femur. “Call him, he would love to talk to you.”  I felt comforted by that line in the text.  Part of me laughed at the thought of him reading my book for any kind of recovery – but yes, my heart settled a bit. Tears had already rolled down one cheek, as I dialed.

The first words out of his mouth were “CARRRRRRRRRRMEN!” — and then, “Do NOT get on a plane to see me. Don’t do it!”  He was being sarcastic and yet, he wanted me to come – he knows that’s exactly what was about to happen.  I’d done it before when a mutual friend of ours was in the hospital. That time, there was no conversation about it, I just got on a plane and was there as soon as possible.

We talked for a while.  It was nice.  I had forgotten how much I loved talking to this beautiful soul.

In India hanging out with High Schoolers

He’s funny and endearing without even trying.  And whenever we chat it’s both a giggle fest and a learning moment.  Mostly for me, but I think for him too.  We shared our love of Anthony Bourdain and how much we missed him.  I kicked myself for not calling him when “Tony” died – but you know, I thought of Alden so much.  He truly is the most realistic version of a REAL Anthony Bourdain I know – minus the food and tats, add in the avid cyclist and skier.  But Alden is a story-teller, a lover of people, a traveler – an adventurous soul.  His natural good looks are nothing compared to his naturally pure gorgeous heart.  I am so lucky to have him in my life and so grateful that although his injuries are fierce and yes, he’ll be out of commission for a while, that it was nothing worse.   He’ll make a full recovery.  And that’s the thing about Alden – even while I’m tearing as he explains how bad the break was and how devastated he is knowing he’ll be in rehab for bit, he then expressed how in the big scheme of things, he was fine. He’s never a victim. And he’s always more concerned about others and their stories – he wanted to know more about my book and how it was going.  And he reassured me that even though he was still suffering from a concussion that he was excited to read it.  Hilarious!  But that’s who he is. It’s never about him, even when it completely should be.  He’s always curious about others – lovely, charming and so damn smart. I’m honored he’s my brother, my friend. And I’m so glad he’s okay.

Alden riding in West Marin County, CA in the spring.

So, I’m not jumping on a plane today to visit Alden. Though I did look at flights and I will be out in August for sure.  In the meantime, I put together a care package for him – I took a pic of a recent mural of Anthony Bourdain by Jonas Never at the Gramercy here in Los Angeles. I added in some other little funny-isms and sent that out yesterday after our talk.

Today, I thought about writing this blog post knowing that he’d hate me sharing his pictures from his private facebook page – knowing that he’d hate all the accolades and love I send his way.  I gush too much I’m sure.  But then I thought – I don’t care.  If I had LOST him, if my boy had died in that bike accident, I’d be writing this and sharing about him because I waited too long.  It would be a miserable thing.  And sad.  And you know what?  I don’t want to make that mistake.  I want to praise him while he’s here.  I never want to take for granted ever again the people I love the most.  Priorities.  He can be mad all he wants. I welcome his wrath.  I’ll be grateful for it actually.

Reach out to your loved ones today.  Seriously. Take this as a sign.

With love, Carmen

 

 

 

 

NICKEL & DIMED

Okay. So, I’m spilling the beans – sort of speak – to those of you who’ve been wondering where I’ve been, well, here it goes: I’ve been rehearsing for a play I’m in this summer! First show is July 18th, with the official run opening on July 20th — so scared! So excited! Being back on stage is OFF THE HOOK brilliant. If you’re in town (Los Angeles/Hollywood area), I hope you’ll stop on by and catch the show. And if you’re not in town, I hope you’ll support us anyways. Send us some love, prayers, and yes, if you can spare a few bucks, please send any amount to the awesome production company Bright Eyes Productions. It’s a not-for-profit organization and the money is all going to a great cause and a wonderful organization — here’s the link to DONATE:  BrightEyesDonatationLink — The play, NICKEL & DIMED by Joan Holden, based on the book by the same name,  is about the working class and how people…   …you know what? Come see the play! I hope you will!  Peace, love and all that good stuff. Hope to see you this summer. If you have any questions, email me (click here)! 

https://www.facebook.com/events/139112226287684/

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Previews
Thursday, July 18, 8 pm
Friday, July 19, 8 pm

Runs
Sat, Jul 20 – Sun, Aug 25
Fri, Sat 8 pm
Sunday 3 pm
Show Calendar

BUY TICKETS
$25 General Admission

Special Show Info
Running time: 120 minutes.
There will be an intermission.

Hudson Mainstage Theatre
6539 Santa Monica Blvd
Hollywood, CA 90038
Valet Parking
Area Map

Special Theatre Info
Wheelchair Access
The theatre has concessions.

Reservations
(323) 960-5770

www.plays411.net/nickelanddimed

Tell Someone Today — PLEASE!

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my dear friend Richard Johnson’s unexpected passing.  In his memory, I’m asking that if you’re reading this post, please reach out to someone today and tell them that you love them.  It’s not that life is short, but, that life is precious.  People are precious.  Friends, family, loved ones, precious.  And in honor of Richard’s remarkable life, I’d like to always remember my own true purpose:  to love and be loved – as authentically as possible.  Hug someone today. Love someone today.  “Stay beautiful and know you’re always somebody important to me.”

Richard&Carm2000

On This Sad Day. . .

redcandle

Such a major conversation about guns. Truth is, we also need to be having a conversation about MENTAL HEALTH. About how we talk to each other, about how we deal with anger. Even how people talk to each other on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ etc. – – its disturbing. Yes, have your arguments about guns. But haven’t we already been here before? Do me a favor: sit down with your kids, your family, your friends and talk. Yeah, just talk. MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS. Communication matters. We need to step up. We need be smarter. Better than we used to be… please, let’s be better than we used to be…

Much love and peace to my neighbors and friends in Connecticut.

We Should All Have Friends Like Bill

All I keep hearing this morning from the talking pundits on all the news shows  about Bill Clinton’s speech was “how great it was” but  “you know, they don’t even like each other.”  

Really?  President Bill Clinton and President Barack Obama don’t even like each other?

Well, jeez.  We should all have friends like Bill.  I’d like a friend who doesn’t like me yet:

  • defends every single thing I’ve done in the last four years,
  • slams my enemies for all the wrongs they’ve said behind my back and in front of it,
  • Anoints me for a job I may be on the verge of losing,
  • And who rallies all my supporters and a lot of undecided folk to my cause.

Seriously, what the hell?  If that ain’t friendship I don’t know what it is.

Obviously it’s time for me to make some new “friends”.

Clearly mine like me way too damn much!

My Friend Richard. . .

I lost my dear best friend this weekend. Unexpected. And although he would be quite annoyed with me for posting this, if you knew Richard Johnson at all, you’d know, he’d like that I loved him enough not to care how annoyed he’d be! He was a good soul. A great friend. Call your loved ones, remind them how much you love them. May you rest in sweet peace Richard.

Simple: My House My Rules

The way I see it, my website is my home on the web.  My Facebook page:  also my home – maybe more a “vacation” home if you will, but my space nonetheless.

I invite everyone to come in and visit. Feel free to stay awhile.  You’re welcomed to visit any room/page, look at what I consider my art, take a seat, lounge around a bit and even interact with some of my other friends and family I’ve also invited.  But, make no mistake, whether it be my actual physical space in California, or my “home”  here online,  I will not tolerate disrespect.

I don’t care who you ARE or who you THINK you are.  In my home, whether it be online or my physical space, everyone is treated exactly the same – with respect and dignity.  And trust me, if your argument starts with, “Do you know who I am…”  in my world, you’ve already lost the case and my attention.

Don’t get me wrong, you can disagree. You can criticize and argue your point. Discussions and debates are encouraged.  And criticism doesn’t bother me at all.  For those of you who don’t actually know me, I’ve been a performer my whole life – criticism comes with the territory.  But being mean and crass just doesn’t fly here on my website or any place I call home.

A lack of manners or lack of etiquette will get you deleted from my space.   If you don’t like what you see or WHO you see here, then by all means, either keep your mouth shut, or simply click away.  Yes, I have friends of all colors, ethnicity and backgrounds.  My friends are wealthy, poor, celebrity and not, some wanna-be’s, some gay, some straight, some democrats, republicans and whole bunch in-between.  I am the luckiest person I know to have such wealth and abundance of friends.  My goodness I can’t even believe I’m admitting this, but I even have some friends who just don’t vote!  But my friends are my friends and I am fierce and loyal and I will not tolerate any disrespect towards them in any of  my homes either.

There’s something to that old adage:  “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  But, if you feel the burning desire to share because you disagree with something I’ve said or something someone else has said, then I suggest you watch your tone.  How you say something is just as important as WHAT you say.  Make your argument but beware  manners, etiquette and tone are paramount to being heard.  And they are the only way in my home that you will be allowed to state your case.

I have no problem using my delete/block or erase button (and by the way, neither should you).   People who actually know me will tell you that I’d just as easily kick you out of my physical space too.  I may look and sound real sweet, but understand my TONE right now:  I wouldn’t need anyone else’s help to kick your ass to the curb.  Trust me.

My house, my rules.

Simple.

Rejection – The Silver Lining

Rhayne:  Carm, you there?

Carmen:  Hola Rhayne – bored at work, I see.

Rhayne:   I have a question.

Carmen:  Shoot.

Rhayne:  How do you deal with rejection?  I’m so sick of everything falling apart and everything going wrong.  I don’t get it.  What am I doing wrong?

Carmen:   Uhm, that’s. . . What happened? You want to talk on the phone? Skype?

Rhayne:  No, I’m at the coffee shop.  Can’t.  Can we just IM?

Carmen:  Okay.

Rhayne:   I went out with that guy.  Remember the one I told you about from the online site?  The one I had coffee with and I thought we had a great time and he said he was going to call me and then he didn’t?  That one.

Carmen:  uhm, so he did call?

Rhayne:  Yeah.

Carmen:  That’s good right?

Rhayne:  And that job interview I went to last week?  That friggin’ second interview that I thought for sure I aced.  They filled the position and didn’t even tell me! I found out because I called and asked!  Oh my God, I was so humiliated! I actually called!

Carmen:  Oh, I’m sorry.

Rhayne: I just feel stupid. I feel horrible. I feel like a loser.  Oh my God, what am I going to do? I’m so sorry.  I can’t believe I’m bothering you again.  I know you’re going through your own stuff.

Carmen:  You’re kidding me, right? Pahleeze! Don’t worry about it. So tell me what happened last night with that guy.

Rhayne:  I don’t want to talk about him actually.

Carmen:  What?  Okay. So, let me get this straight, you’re asking me how I deal with rejection so well? Uhm, because I’ve had so much experience, jeez thanks!

Rhayne: Yeah, I do.  I mean, no offense, but. . . I mean, you’ve been through so much and you’re always happy.  I mean, I know you cry and get sad, but…honestly, how do you do it?  No matter what’s going in your life, you’re always okay. I don’t get it.  Is it drugs? Alcohol?  Lots of sex?  What?

Carmen:  Definitely not drugs or alcohol. . .

Rhayne:  Oh my God!  Lots of sex, that’s how you deal with it?

Carmen: LOL!  Yeah, wouldn’t that be great?   If sex cured all our problems!

Rhayne:  Or if your real love did. . . CHOCOLATE.

Carmen:  CHOCOLATE!!!!

Rhayne: ROTFL!

Carmen:  Ha!

Rhayne: I want Suzie Cakes cupcakes right now!

Carmen:  Look, there’s no doubt rejection is hard. But I guess I deal with it the same way I deal with most things– head on.

Rhayne:  I don’t know what that means.

Carmen:  I know, give me a dang second to type girl!

Rhayne:  OK.

Carmen: First, rejection is something we all feel at some point.  That’s not to diminish what you’re going through and feeling right now, but just to remind you that it’s normal.  Second, it’s important to understand why rejection hurts so much.  Primarily because it makes us feel like we’re not good enough.  Like we’re “less than” someone or something else.  It solidifies and confirms our own worst fears:  that we just don’t measure up.  And if someone doesn’t approve, then see, it must be true!  Got those two so far?

Rhayne:  Uh-ha.

Carmen:  The third thing to remember is that we don’t like rejection because ultimately we want to be liked.  It’s natural.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  It’s part of living.  As much as “some” pretend not to need anyone, the  fact  is  we’re social beings and want to fit in.  Even in our aloneness, we want to know that we’re accepted by others.  And most of us who are sane never want to hurt or disappoint others.   It’s a natural part of what makes us, US.  So far so good?

Rhayne: Yeah.  When are you going to tell me how to fix it?

Carmen: When you gonna pay me?

Rhayne:   It’s in the mail.

Carmen:  Yeah, right.  For real, it’s a process.

Rhayne: Okay, okay, I’m listening.

Carmen: The fourth thing to remember is that you’ve already been here before.  You know all of this.

Rhayne:  What?

Carmen:  Yeah, everything I just said beforehand… that  it’s normal, that it hurts because we want to be liked by others and that we’re social beings regardless of how we say we don’t need anybody?  This is not new – rejection is not new to you.

Rhayne:  Okay, but so what? How does that help me?

Carmen:  You were rejected before when you were 3 years old in the play ground or when you were in grammar school, high school, whatever.  You’ve been through this before so you already know what rejection is – been there, done that.

Rhayne:  Exactly what I’m saying!  It’s like I’m “Queen Rejection” or something!

Carmen:  No, silly.  What I’m trying to say is this: you have felt this before and you’ll feel it again.  It’s part of the process of life and unless you’re never going to compete for anything ever again or go after something you really want, or fall in love, then you’re always going to run the risk of feeling rejected.

Rhayne:  So I’m destined to always feel bad because it’s human?  Is that what you’re friggin’ telling me?  How the hell is this supposed to make me feel better?  I’m thinking alcohol would be so much better.  I’d go for the sex cure if you’d hook me up with that fine boy on your facebook –  there’s like three of them I’m interested in.

Carmen: You are so crazy Ms. Thing!  For the record, that boy is NOT available! Let it go!  But yes, as a human being you are destined to possibly be rejected many more times for sure.  That’s a factual part of living.  So you can’t stop being rejected, but you can control how deeply you feel about it and definitely never let it devastate you.

Rhayne:  Okay, how?

Carmen: Every time something doesn’t go your way Rhayne you get all in a tizzy.  So, the question is why?

Rhayne:  you already said it…because I’m human and, you know, all the three things you said before.

Carmen:  Ugggh….yes, but there’s more to it than that silly girl!  What you haven’t figured out is how to turn a bad feeling or situation into a good thing.  Find the silver lining. Everything has a silver lining, no matter how faint it may seem.  If you want to know the trick of how I’ve made it through  “sooooooooooo much rejection”  that’s the trick:   I flip rejection to a positive.

Rhayne:  What?  That sounds stupid and too easy.

Carmen:  I didn’t say it was easy.  And I would say stupid is IM-ing me from a coffee shop like I’m your damn therapist!

Rhayne:  Touché. Sorry. Go on.

Carmen:  Whenever you get rejected try and see it as just another opportunity for you to try again.  Each time someone says, NO, say, OH YEAH?  Don’t feed into the hurt of rejection.  Make it a line in the sand to cross over and dare once again.

Rhayne:  Oh, so, a guy you’ve been in love with picks some fat ugly whore over you and you’re fine with that and see it as a challenge?

Carmen:   Ha! Ha!  Oh my God!  That was too funny!  Let’s leave the boys for the end, okay?  Let’s start with work first.

Rhayne:  Okay. Shoot.  But I can’t wait to hear the answer to that. . .

Carmen:  You send out resumes, you go to an interview, you look your best, present yourself well and think you’ve aced the interview and you don’t get the job.  Right?

Rhayne:  Right.

Carmen:   Okay, instead of harping on feeling bad or like a “loser” because you didn’t get the job, why not do a little reality check on all the reasons why you might not have gotten the job. You know, think about things you can control.   Like, for example, did you say too much in the interview?  Not enough?  Were you too chummy with people?  Was this really the right job to pursue? Did you accidentally show up the interviewer….uhem…

Rhayne: Oh shut up!  She was like 14 years old!  I could have done her job for goodness sake and I’m interviewing for her?  What the hell!  I shouldn’t have to be dealing with some freshman supervisor wanna-be.  I should have her job!

Carmen:  Rhayne, honestly, do you hear yourself?  A minute ago you were feeling rejected, now you’re pissed because you had to interview for a job with someone you thought wasn’t qualified.  You didn’t really want that job did you?

Rhayne:  It’s a stupid position I can do with my eyes closed.

Carmen:  I’m sure. But this isn’t the right economy to be playing that game so you have to adjust, right? The point is, you make a choice – either suck it up and talk to the 14 year old “supervisor” to get the job, or decide that it’s not a job you want anyways because you’re overqualified.  But don’t put yourself down over it.  Choice, line in the sand, positivity.  Nothing about feeling bad at all.  What’s the silver lining in the situation?  If anything, I see this as a positive, you should feel good about it.  You’ve learned something new.

Rhayne:  F – you!

Carmen:  Yeah, you best abbreviate my sistah –I’ll just assume you meant to say “Fabulous, you!”  Ha!  Look , it’s the same way with the guy thing.  First of all, don’t ever compete with other women.  It’s not about the other woman.  If a guy isn’t interested, remember that it’s the same as when you’re not interested in some guy who likes you.  Then be glad you got that information NOW and not years later.  Silver lining!  And why would you force someone to like you?  That’s like forcing someone to be your friend.  It makes no sense.

Rhayne:  Amen to that! You are so right!

Carmen:  In more intense relationships, if someone doesn’t want to be in your life no matter what you do to accommodate the relationship and they still lie or behave stupidly – then walk away.  I mean, honestly, what’s the point?  True love and true friendship, no matter the relationship,  is about respect.  Respect of yourself in the relationship and respect of the other person.  If you really love someone, you wouldn’t hurt them purposely – especially not over and over again.  You know I’ve walked away without looking back pretty easily from dumb-ass people.  Three chances and you’re out.  Here’s the silver lining:  If the muther-flower is a liar and therefore an overall woose, then I consider that a bullet dodged big time!  Remember what Maya Angelou said, “People always SHOW you who they are.”   They may talk a good game, but ultimately its behavior that matters.

Rhayne:  Preach it sistah. Preach!

Carmen:  Ha!  I know, right!  I feel the spirit coming through my fingers when I get going…Ha!

Rhayne:  I know you do!

Carmen:   And Ms. Thang, let’s be honest here, okay?  You’re just meeting these men for the first and second date, right?   Maybe you need to lighten up a bit.  It’s like you’ve emotionally invested a little too much too soon.  Give yourself a break already. You’re like piling up on the rejection crap just to feel bad!

Rhayne: You’re right. I hate you.

Carmen:  I know.  Beauty and brains, I can’t help it, I was born this way baby!

Rhayne:  Bitch.  Okay, but seriously, now what?

Carmen:  Well, I’d like to say you should write me a check for my services but I know that ain’t going to happen.

Rhayne:  Funny.

Carmen:  Tomorrow just start fresh.  Stop putting so much weight on everything.

Rhayne:  I know. I know you’re right.  And the other days? When it doesn’t work out?

Carmen:  Easy, Chocolate cupcakes! Always on standby!

Rhayne:  I’d rather you call up one of them boys on your facebook page so I can have me some of that “sex-cure”. What that boy’s name, you know, the one that –

Carmen:  You’re crazy!  What do I look like a pimp or something… jeez!

Rhayne: Well, that could be a job for me.  I’d work on commission.  You know, I could  be your secretary if you started up that kind of business… maybe your bookie or….

Carmen:  Good-bye Rhayne!