Carmenisms: Happiness Bandaids?


The Gist:

*Force yourself to smile

*Put on some music

*Hang out with happy kids


The Links:

What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong


Happy, Pharrell Williams


Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Israel Kamakawiwo’ole


The Recognition:

Fabian at Equi, for asking the question

Lil’Julie for always making me enjoy the day

Shot with a Canon PowerShot S110 Digital Camera




That Which You Hate

Okay Shelby, so here’s my question: 

If you hate being a secretary, why do you define yourself as that?

I get that right now you make your living being a secretary – you make a great living at it.  But is it truly who you are?  Or is it what you do to make ends meet?

It’s important to make the distinction.  And might help you from feeling so down.

I understand it’s difficult to say you’re a poet, a painter, or any creative entity, when in fact what you’re doing to pay the bills is secretarial work. But the problem with defining yourself as something you hate to do is that you are constantly aligning yourself with something negative. When we align ourselves with something negative, it reverberates throughout our inner and outer being.  It affects every part of us.  And the more we do it, the more habit forming it is, the easier it is for us to be sad most days.  When you define yourself as a secretary, or something you loathe, your whole body feels it.  You don’t say it with enthusiasm, you don’t say it with joy, you certainly don’t say it with power – you say it almost “matter-of-factly” or you say it with embarrassment. You say it with sadness, maybe even with a sense of hatred. How can you be in a place of “okay-ness” when you’re starting off so negatively?

Try a little test:  instead of saying to yourself: “I’m a secretary.”  Take a moment and say “I’m a painter.”  Don’t think of the financial implications or what your spouse or family would think.  Just say – whatever it is- out loud:

“I’m a writer.”

“I’m a poet.”

“I’m an artist.”

Did you notice the happiness?  The giggle?  Did you smile when you said it?  Did you feel a little silly, a tiny bit of joy?

That’s because it’s possible that WHO YOU ARE is very different from what you do for a living.

Stop defining yourself as that which you hate – and instead, make the distinction between what you do to make ends meet financially verses who you really are.

Now the real question is: do you know who you really are?

Beautiful Men and Depression?

Beautiful Men and Depression? 

I started writing a blog on “Beautiful Men” (and when I say “beautiful” I mean more inside than out) and, somehow along the way, I came across this article on WebMD about men and depression.  I’ve never even really consider that men get depressed. Depression does tend to lend itself to being more of a “woman’s disease” and, well… I learned something today and thought I should share the information in case others might be interested.

So, this is for all the beautiful boys out there – and all the girls who love them.  Even if you don’t suffer from depression, you may want to be aware of the symptoms that pertain to men.  At the very least, it was a learning moment for me – and quite interesting.

I’ve copied a part of the article here on my blog – but the rest can be found at:

Depression in Men

While clinical depression was once considered a “woman’s disease,” more than 6 million men in the U.S. have at least one episode of major depression each year. Unfortunately, the lingering image of depression as a female condition may keep men who are clinically depressed from recognizing the symptoms of depression and seeking treatment.

Depression actually affects both sexes. It disrupts relationships and interferes with work and daily activities. The symptoms of depression in men are similar to the symptoms of depression in women. But men tend to express those symptoms differently. The most common symptoms of depression include low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, loss of interest in usually pleasurable activities, fatigue, changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, apathy, and sexual problems, including reduced sex drive. In women, depression may cause them to feel sad and emotional. Depression in men, on the other hand, may cause them to be irritable, aggressive, or hostile.

Why is depression in men commonly not recognized?

There are several reasons why the symptoms of clinical depression in men are not commonly recognized. For example, men tend to deny having problems because they are supposed to “be strong.” And American culture suggests that expressing emotion is largely a feminine trait. As a result, men who are depressed are more likely to talk about the physical symptoms of their depression — such as feeling tired — rather than symptoms related to emotions.

Does depression in men affect sexual desire and performance?

Yes. Depression in men can affect sexual desire and performance. Unfortunately, some antidepressants, like SSRIs, can do the same. Men often are unwilling to admit to problems with their sexuality. Many mistakenly feel that the problems are related to their manhood, when, in fact, they are caused by a medical problem such as clinical depression.

To read the rest of this interesting article please go directly to the WebMD site:

PS. I’ll post the “Beautiful Men” blog next week…  promise!  Happy & Safe Fourth everyone!

Peace, love and all that good stuff!