#30 Days Trying to Find Joy Challenge – Day 10 & Day 11

March 16th, 2020  9:20pm  –  Oh, all this social distancing is making people nicer!

Yesterday I wrote a piece for the AuthorToolsBoxBlogHop that I belong to so I didn’t write for my personal night time writing challenge for Day 10. Well, I did write, but not for THIS.  Hmmm. In the future, I may have to include days that I actually write for a BlogHop or for another reason as a “day” of the writing challenge anyways.

Today’s joy was easy. A woman was walking toward me as I was out for my daily jog and as she noticed me, she went to cross the street. Everyone is doing this – we’re all moving out of each other’s way. But as she crossed on over, she waved to me and said, “Have a great workout”.  I smiled and waved back. 

No biggy.

But it happened again with a guy on a bike. Then another woman walking her dog – she waved and said, “Good morning”. Everyone is keeping their distance, being careful, but adding a “Hello” or a wave and a smile. 

Maybe my bar is so low that I was surprised at the kindness.  Or maybe, in a crisis, the best of who we are prevails anyways.

Yeah, I’m gonna believe in the latter.  I just have too.

On my Walk in the Rain Today

#30 Days Trying to Find Joy Challenge – Day 2

Friday, March 6, 2020 – 9:00pm – Random, TikTok, Client Advice

I’m already annoyed. Does anyone actually READ people’s blog post? I rarely comment on people’s post because I don’t want to say something mean, if I can’t say something nice.  But I’m shocked most days by how many people ‘like’ a blog post when the content is…well, NOT “likable” enough – and I’m just trying to be nice about saying it that way.  Wow. 

On Twitter today, I reminded people that social media isn’t real life [[[IT’S NOT PEOPLE]]]. I encouraged people to really find a way to talk to REAL people in REAL life because honestly, social media – especially Twitter is toxic as all hell most days. Social media needs to find its place in our lives and I’m afraid it’s finding the worst in all of us. The part of us that just wants to bitch and moan and complain and find fault in everyone but ourselves.  Wow. Horrible. People really need to focus on trying to be kind. Having joy. Seriously. I’m shocked by how much people thrive on being cruel to other people — most times, for no real reason. Sad.

Today was a tough day. Actually the entire week was hard. I had a great conversation with a client out on the East Coast today and somehow, I found some joy in that. She’s in the midst of making some hard choices, but today it felt so good to walk her through it.  It’s such a natural thing right?  When you have perspective, based on experience and you watch someone in the midst of that struggle — you want to assure them somehow that it will be okay, but it doesn’t matter what you say – it’s just something they’re going to have to feel and get through.  But I have this line I say – which is an absolute TRUTH – which always makes people feel better: I don’t talk about what I don’t know.  And I asked her; have I ever lied to you or been wrong about anything?  And the answer is inevitably NO – because again, I don’t talk about what I don’t know, period. End Stop.  So when I talk to a client about their business or project or whatever and I tell them – “A” is going to happen and then “B” will follow – I’m 100% positive.  Yeah, it sounds cocky, but it’s the damn truth so you know… whatever.  Anyways, that was my light this week. That made today a good day, even though it’s been a tough week.

I also posted on TikTok.  Ha!  Honestly, I feel bad being a voyeur on the app, so I have to start posting more regularly. But let me tell you, adults are going to ruin that app just like they’ve ruined every other app. Right now, the app is fun. Dancing, people expressing themselves – magic tricks, sheer silliness and sure, there are serious folk on there too – but the point of TikTok, once called “music.ly” was initially (I believe) to lipsync and dance to music.  You can do these little 15 sec or 60 sec clips. So much fun.  Now people are on there doing all types of things – it’s a mash of bad and good advice, silliness, serious dancing, videos on “how to” and…just everything.  It’s still fun. But of course, celebs are now on there – because it’s a great advertising and surely it’s interesting to watch so clearly a social media app about to change…from fun to not so much fun. I think it’s the legacy of most social media. Clearly Twitter is a mess…. I mean, it’s toxic as all hell. Crazy!  And I really do loathe FB and…eeh, Instagram is also kind of a chore… Oh well. 

So, the week is over. I’m so glad. It was a tough week – but I got so much done regardless. I wish I had finished my list, but there’s no doubt my lack of sleep this week, my stress level and just feeling generally under-the-weather, made it a bad week. But tomorrow’s another day. I’m looking forward to it. 

I did walk today. It was hard though.  I wasn’t feeling it at all.  And I did Centr6, but so half-assed it was kind of pathetic.  I hurt my knees… but, glad I got through it. I hope I feel better tomorrow. I have so much to do this week!!  Honestly.  Maybe that’s why I’m also feeling a little out of it. Do you ever feel like you have so much to do, but it’s really nothing you WANT to do?  I have like 5 of those things to get through this weekend and next week. I’m so bummed. Seriously, if anyone should win the lottery, it really should be me. I’m sure of it!  Hahahaha! 

Well, hasta manana.

Carmen    

Competing Beach Wisdom

I went out for a run yesterday morning by the beach.  Five miles, slow and easy.  Nothing too fierce.  James came up beside me and started running backwards in the sand, and as always teasing me a bit with his beautiful self:

“Hey, looking good…race you to the Pier Carm?  Come on.”

I laughed, just a little in that flirty way so he gets the hint that I’m not about to go any faster than I am right now.  He prances off turning around every so often to see if maybe I’ve taken the bait.  He’s absolutely stunningly, by the way.  Even if I could race him, why would I choose to miss such a magnificent view?  The boy’s got perfectly  long muscular  legs, stands about 6 feet tall.  The perfect “back” if you get my “meaning” and has that beautiful “triathalony”, not-one-ounce-of body-fat frame anyone would be jealous of.  And lastly, the dark beautiful skin that’s golden tanned like only the California sun can produce with perfectly blonde “surfer boy” kinda hair that’s a little too long, but perfect all wet and sweaty….

Let me tell you, if there’s ever a question why I work out every morning, let’s just say, I have incentive!

But as I watched James get farther and farther ahead of me, I started thinking a lot about racing and competition.  For as much as I competed as a kid in so many different activities, I was never really a competitor.  I never felt great about winning because I knew that meant someone else had to lose.  And since I had my share of losing, well… it just wasn’t in my nature to like making someone else feel bad,   even if it was fair competition.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important for kids to learn about competition and more specifically, learn how to compete.  People should learn what it feels like to win and to lose.  I’m completely opposed to these new “rules” in some schools that say everyone always wins and no one ever loses and everyone gets an award and blah, blah, blah.  No.  Winning and losing help develop character in a way that no other experience can.

But, now, when I think back on it – I know I’ve never been a competitor, not in the classic sense anyways.

As a kid, I never competed with anyone else but myself.  I wish I could say it had to do with being so wise, but actually it had more to do with knowing what it felt like to lose and realizing early on that when you win, someone else has to end up feeling bad, someone else has to lose. . . and I hated that more than anything else.  So, when I danced or played basketball and won competitions or games, I always went out of my way to try and be kind, gracious and appreciative to the other competitor or team.  But I hated both – losing and winning for sure.

What I did love, was “being better than I used to be”.  Hearing my instructor tell me that I was 150% better from last weeks show,  or,  when I passed the basketball to a team member and they’d hit the winning shot when before they’d never even really played before…  That was brilliant!  The joy in their eyes or their overwhelming happiness was a different kind of feeling for me  – it’s better than winning actually.  It’s something sort of magical!

Well, suffice it to say, I gave in and started running a little faster to meet up with James.  He wasn’t really running afterall.  He was lightly jogging and turning around every so often to wave at me.  Taunting me really.  I couldn’t help but run as fast as I could when he wasn’t looking and then I leaped  on his back…  we both went crashing down onto the sand, the waves came up ever so close and it gave me just the little head start I needed.  He was surprised and still finding his footing when I dashed ahead towards the pier.

So much for not competing.

Eeehh, I cheated…  But come on, this wasn’t a real competition – suffice it to say, he still beat me (is there anything worse than cheating and still losing?  OYVEY!).   But it was a great work-out and a lot of fun and the reward for finishing was….spectacular!   😉

Happy Day everyone!