Democracy is on the Ballot. Period. Full Stop.

I’m voting FOR Hillary Clinton.

I’m bothered by the Grand Old Party. I’m stunned by the loss of integrity and lack of honor that was once dem-rep-herosynonymous with the Republican Party.  Every time I hear one of them raise the name of Ronald Reagan, I cringe for him, his legacy – for our country.  How far off the rails have we gone?  Whether I believed in Reagan’s ideas for our country is/was irrelevant.  No one can deny he was a beacon of honor and integrity.  And yes, he was this Democrats President too.

I watch in horror as the Republican Party finds ways to justify the monstrosity it has become.  Instead of taking responsibility for the mistakes it has made, they seem, instead intent on denigrating and condemning Hillary Clinton.  Don’t get me wrong, you can fight the right fight against your opponent, but all the Hillary bashing in the world would only make sense if the FBI had found her at fault and pursued charges.  If the countless “Benghazi” hearings had concluded even ONCE that she was to blame and indicted her for at least something, anything! And yes, if it was Hillary who had actually slept with those women who accused her husband —well, hell, that would have at least been a good story and place to start! Maybe you are one of the few who really believe this “system” of ours is “rigged”.  Well, if that’s the case, you’re so off the deep end, there’s nothing I can say to sway you…

But Republicans, real true honest to goodness Republicans – WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?  It seems like for the past year you’ve been flailing in the air grasping at…nothingness in pursuit of bygone ideals that contradict who the face of your party has become.  Have you not noticed?  It’s a stark difference – blatant really.  Have you all completely lost your minds?

You’re so obsessed with finding blame in Hillary Clinton and in everyone else (the media seems to be a safe scapegoat) that you’ve lost all focus on what is fundamentally right and what is  absolutely wrong.  Basic decency, integrity and honor have escaped you.  And instead of seeing that, you keep bashing the democratic nominee at the same time alienating those of us, who could – at one point in time —  see your point of view – even if you had a legitimate argument once, you’ve lost your way so badly, that it just looks like a child having a temper tantrum about the wrong thing.  You look ridiculous. And as adults, we’re just sitting here waiting for you to be older and wiser, because we’re sure, then – we hope — you’ll understand.

The problem is —  we don’t have time for conservative republicans to figure it out.

Much to the chagrin of most of my liberal friends, I’m a conservative Democrat, always have been.  I could have voted for a Republican, but honestly – today…which one?  So many have failed the integrity test at this point, it’s shameful. I’m disgusted by Paul Ryan.  Maybe US Representative Adam Kinzinger of IL is the GOP’s best bet at this point. Integrity intact. Doesn’t waffle about anything. Seems to have his moral compass pointing North. I disagree with 80% of what he believes in, but I respect him. Can’t say that for most of the Republican party.  Adam seems to be one of the few young Republicans with integrity who has not flip-flopped or wavered… his bearings seem straight and he gets the simplicity of what’s right and what’s wrong. Republicans, with Paul Ryan and his friend Reince at the top of the list,  have lost their way. I suggest the GOP faithful have a conversation with Congressman Adam Kinzinger, watch how he answers questions regarding your Republican nominee, and find your way back to the path to civility.  In essence, learn to stand your ground, you know, without a gun.

And Hillary.

Maybe we’ve all gotten so used to flash and shiny objects with quick “feel good” instant gratification, that we’ve all forgotten that the role of a President is to actually BE and FUNCTION as a President.  Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Barack, Michelle and Bill Clinton when it comes to oratory skills.  Clearly, I’d like to be motivated and inspired too by words that ignite me into euphoria. It makes it easier to handle the bad days.  And I can admit that yes, even when I didn’t agree with Reagan, Lord have mercy if that twinkle in the eye didn’t catch me every time.  But Carter, George H.W. Bush and George Bush Jr., weren’t kickin’ it with oratory skills either.  Actually, in all due respect, they were rather boring.  Mundane. Painful to listen to at time.  But they were our Presidents nonetheless. And we accepted that. Because they were men.

I bring this up because I don’t need Hillary to woo me with her oratory skills. I don’t care if you “like” her – what I care about is, can she do the job?  Does she have what it takes to BE President?  And when it comes to being a woman, I have to say, did anyone really think it would be easy for the first woman to become President of the United States?  It seems to me that any woman considered worthy would have had to have AT LEAST 30 years’ experience or something comparable – and I’m pretty sure she still would have lost to a first time male Senator with no experience before even getting a shot  (forgive me President Obama, but you know it’s true).  This isn’t me screaming sexism; this is me admitting a truth about where we’re at in this country when it comes to women and leadership.  There is no other woman in this country that would have had it any easier. Make no mistake about it:  Any woman, Republican or Democrat, would have been smeared and tossed into doubt, regardless of what they did or didn’t do.  They would have gone to such lengths as to blame her for the misdeeds of her husband to whatever extent possible, just to make it quite improbable that she could be worthy of the title, the position of President.   Just like any other “firsts” – it has to move through the barriers, fair or unfair, before it accomplishes its goal.  And then, if we’re lucky, it becomes a new normal.

My criteria for being President of this great country of ours, is pretty simple:  If I know more about foreign policy and domestic policy than you do, you cannot be President.  If you don’t seem to understand how our branches of government work – or how many branches we actually have – you cannot be considered to occupy the office of the Presidency. It really is that simple.  If you claim to be a brilliant business man and you can’t pick the right people to put around you to assist you in your quest – and you can’t do the simple task of managing your negatives, elevating your positives:  you are not qualified to be a CEO let alone President of the United States.

The GOP has some work to do. And for the sake of our great country, I hope they start by owning up to their mistakes by voting for country over party and then doing the real work of reestablishing what the Republican party stands for now and in the years to come. We need at least two strong parties in this country…it’s the only way our democracy will continue to thrive. Of this, I am absolutely sure.

In the meantime, I’m voting FOR Hillary. She’s the right person, at the right time – and Lord have mercy it is TIME!



Love of the Human Spirit

Enjoy the audio below and/or read the blog post below. Happy sweet day!


I love the human spirit. I do.

I love how even when the worst of who we are falls upon us, I love that the best of who we are always follows.

I love how we teach. How we learn. Beach Playing

I love that my life touches yours, and that your life affects mine. That something you do can change my life, and my life can change yours, hopefully for the better.

I love everything about the human journey.  I have faith in our possibilities, in all that we can accomplish.

I love that we push the boundaries, in everything we do.

I love that when we know better, we do better, most times.

I love the simple things too.  The smile.  The eyes that say “hi”.  The slight head nudge of acknowledgement. Oh, and when we dance. . .

I love the fist bumps. The high fives. Shaking someone’s hand for the first time.

I love the laughing, yeah, even the crying. Hey sometimes, things are bad.  And it’s hard.  And even in those moments, mostly in those moments, I dig deeper and find faith and believe even more in the magic of the human spirit.

I don’t know where this came from, this love of humanity.  But there it is.  I believe we are here to love and be loved.  Everything somehow falls under that.  Just Love.

I love all that we are, all that we have become and all that we can be.

I love the human spirit. I really do.

I Fell In Love…

It’s been three months. Where have I been? What have I been up too? Here are the bullet points:

  • I fell in love.Red-Heart-800px
  • I changed jobs.
  • I filmed a new movie.
  • I’ve had two oral surgeries, going in for a third in the next few weeks (first world problems, trust me).
  • I got rid of more people in my life who were stripping me of all sanity (anyone voting for Trump, was a good start).
  • I lost a family member (may he rest in sweet peace).
  • I moved (back to the beach, exactly where I’m supposed to be).
  • I became a vegetarian (it only lasted ½ a day).
  • I traveled a bit (not to Scotland as planned, but traveled nonetheless).
  • I started writing a new book (haven’t published the first one, but eeeh…details!).
  • I made four new cool friends (I hope they’re not Trump supporters).
  • Came to terms with some DNA testing that threw me (yes, I’m partly Caucasian. I know, it shouldn’t have come as some surprise, but, what can I say? I’m only human).
  • I’m still in love. It’s a good thing.

I’ve been horrible lately about keeping up with my favorite blogs.  I apologize. I’ve also been a bit MIA on Facebook, Instagram, etc. I’ve been on Twitter a little bit, but even there I’ve been lagging.  Honestly, it’s been nice to be in the real world a bit.  And although I do love interacting online, it’s been somewhat nice not to be so connected all the time.

I had an interaction with a vile woman on a Facebook post that belonged to CNN New Day Anchor Chris Cuomo.  It was such an interesting experience because most days I wouldn’t have even bothered. But, for whatever reason, her insistence on being cruel and negative towards this man, this celebrity, that she did not actually know, was mind-boggling to me.  After a very long-winded interaction, (I should apologize to Chris Cuomo’s people on his FB page because it went on forever), I finally realized that her being cruel and negative was actually what fueled her.  She eventually admitted as much. That’s when I was done.

To be behind a keyboard and lashing out at someone, when there is no reason to be, is quite extraordinary. This particular post that Chris Cuomo was sharing with his fans, had nothing to do with anything – he was having a somewhat existential moment.  Her reaction to his post was…the only way I can describe it is to say it’s like someone having a temper tantrum online, if that makes any sense.  People usually call these types, TROLLS. But the truth is I think that’s too easy to dismiss.  She really hated Chris Cuomo for so many reasons, and I kept asking her, why would you follow someone you hate so much?  Her answers made me realize that hating him, following him, lashing out at him, was a much easier thing to do than actually dealing with her own self in the real world.

I guess that’s where I’ve been lately; dealing with my own self in the real world.  I have fallen in love with life again. Maybe it’s the ocean air, maybe it’s the new neighborhood, maybe it’s just ridding myself of negative people in my life, but I am so in love with the right here, right now and…well, it’s pretty spectacular!

Don’t get me wrong, there have been some tough moments these past three months.  But that’s how life goes, right? Ups and downs, good days, bad days.  As I move along my personal journey, I hope that whatever comes my way – good or bad – that I handle it with as much grace as possible, hurting no one else along the way. I never want to be so bitter or so cruel. And I never want to be fueled by negativity. I really hope to always be “loving” this thing called life.

Yeah, I’m still in love.  It’s a good thing.


Loving Life - Silly Me


Jealousy Is A Thing


Everyone denies they’re jealous.  Ever notice that?  “I’m not jealous. Me? No. I Frustrated 1could care less about her…”.  Or maybe it’s the shrugging of the shoulders in contempt or finding a way to belittle someone like, “…yeah, but I bet she can’t add 2 + 2…”.

When that feeling of jealously strikes us we tend to deny it’s even there.  Ever wonder why?

Somewhere along the line we learned that it was a bad thing to be jealous. That to be jealous, envious of another person’s advantages – whatever they may be – was a terrible thing.  It makes us look bad to ever be seen as being jealous.  So we deny it.

Here’s the thing: Being jealous is a natural part of who we are.  Like fear, it’s not something that we ever see coming, until we encounter it. When fear arrives, it’s because our inner selves detect something scary, something that we perceive might hurt us.  Our first reaction is to be afraid.  But denying we’re afraid, denying fear, doesn’t make the fear any less real or any less there.

Jealously works the same way.

When jealousy shows up, it’s never because we’re looking  for it, it just presents itself. And our first reaction is to try and deny it.  We try to push it away. Again, it doesn’t make the jealousy any less real or any less there, but it does throw most people into a strange place where their inability to deal with jealousy makes them lash out in ways that are counter-productive and most times, says more about who they are, than the people they’re hating on.

Let me share a recent example:

I was at a restaurant a couple of months ago at around lunch time. It was pretty empty patron-wise and the waitress was chit chatting with me about a movie she had just seen. About 10 minutes into my lunch, a couple walked in, early 30s maybe and absolutely stunning.  There was no doubt in my mind they were professional models  — and if they weren’t, they should have been! Now, to put this in perspective,  I live in a town where everyone is “beautiful” – that town being Hollywood – and these two stood out.  So  “drop-dead gorgeous”  is not a term I’m using loosely…  

The waitress, upon seeing them, said to me under her breath, “Great. Jerks.” I assumed she knew them and had some history with them. So I proceeded to eat my lunch but couldn’t help listening and watching what was happening… 

The waitress’s demeanor had completely changed. She wasn’t being kind to them. She was harsh and cold.  She seemed to throw down the water and plates of food in-front of them. She made no eye contact whatsoever  – she seemed annoyed to deal with them. I kept thinking, ‘wow, these people must have really pissed her off’ – and so, when she returned to the counter where I had been sitting I asked her, “How do you know them?” and she replied, “I don’t know them. I would never know people like that. Those are not my kind of people.”  She must have seen my confused expression because she proceeded and said, “You know the type:  they’re probably actors on some fucking show, or dumb models —  they don’t ever have to work for a living because mommy and daddy pay for everything. I mean, look at them, you can just tell they’re spoiled assholes.”  

Clearly, that experience told me more about the waitress than it did about the lovely people who had just come in for a bite to eat.  After that, I was no longer interested in talking to the waitress.  My impression of her had changed and the point is: when we don’t deal with jealousy, most times it makes US look ugly. It brings out the worst in who we are.  And without even knowing it, you turn people off.

So how do you learn not to be jealous?  You can’t.  And anyone who tells you they never get jealous is lying.  It’s just like fear.  You can’t stop being afraid, but you can learn to deal with fear when it shows itself.  And like anything else you work on, feeling afraid or being jealous becomes less of an obstacle over time.

Here’s how I overcame one aspect of fear:

I used to be afraid of heights and flying.  So much so, that it would take a lot for me to get on a plane. Even when I’d go hiking, I would stay away from looking at the scenery if we were too high up, because the knowledge that I had hiked that far away from “solid” ground would make me feel nauseous.  It became a problem – because, I do love to hike. So, although I had decided to deal with my fear of flying by avoiding planes all altogether, it was now keeping me from experiencing another part of life.  Now I wasn’t enjoying hiking as much – something had to change.  I decided that the way I was dealing with my fear – by denying it and avoiding it, was not working.  It was keeping me from being the best person I could be.  So, I talked to a few people and someone suggested I go skydiving.  I was completely fearful of the thought, but after some time passed, I knew in my gut I had to do it.  I decided to confront fear head on.  Here’s a quick clip of that fun life-changing event:

Going skydiving changed me.  I’m not saying all of my fear has completely gone away, but it doesn’t stop me from being my best self.   I handle all fear in my life differently now.  It’s the same with Jealousy.

How do you become your best self when you are confronted with Jealousy? Well, I don’t have a cool movie clip to show you that, but here’s how I deal with it on a regular basis and it works brilliantly for me.  Maybe, it can help you too.

First, you have to admit you get jealous.  It seems so simple, but if you don’t admit it, then you avoid tackling it and instead do things to avoid it.

Secondly, when confronted with a moment of jealousy, admit it out-loud.  I like to say, if you see something that makes you jealous, say something!  So, more often than not, when I see a beautiful woman working her magic in some fabulous dress, I’ll let her know, “Wow, that’s a great dress!” And I say it authentically and with sincerity  and EVERY time that person reacts with joy and appreciation.  And jealousy evaporates and becomes something else. I’ve made it into a compliment, instead of holding it inside.

Three, think about why you got jealous in that moment and use it as a tool to improve yourself.  More times than not, we’re jealous because we don’t have something the other person’s got.  Rarely, is it a dress I’m jealous of, generally it’s the woman’s self-confidence and the way she holds herself – and usually I’m thinking, I didn’t work out the past day or so.  Or, maybe know subconsciously that my eating habits had faltered that week and I wasn’t really working my own magic… see what I’m saying?

Here’s the thing:  there are enough moments in life when we get all frustrated and tied up in knots about things. Letting jealousy of another person’s advantages take up too much time in your head.  It makes you defensive when there is no need to be.  And it’s just a wasteful use of energy. The way I see it, jealousy can actually be a good thing,  if you use the moment to understand why you feel the way you do and then use that information to  improve upon who you are and who you can be!

Well, that’s how I do it anyways…

Happy sweet day!







Can You List Ten Things You Like About Yourself?

Ten Things I LikeI was watching a show on CNN about addiction when one of the people being interviewed mentioned she had been struggling for days working on an exercise that could help her in her recovery.  The exercise she was struggling with was listing ten things she liked about herself.

I didn’t think much about it.  But later in the day, I wondered, can I do that? List ten things I like about myself?  And I added another caveat;  can I do it as quickly as I could write ten things I hate about myself? Because I’ll be honest, I could spit out 20 things in 20 seconds of all the things I hate about myself pretty easily…  sad but true!

So, I tried it.  I sat down, with the timer on my cell and listed ten things that I liked about myself. I stayed away from physical attributes (only list one if you must)  and then, when I was done, I went back and listed why I liked or loved these things about myself.

I have to tell you – a very interesting little learning moment for me.  And, it was…well, enlightening to say that least, and kind of fun.

Carmen’s List 

  • I love that I have great instincts. I’m hardly ever wrong when I go with my gut. This has to do with people or moments.  Most people I read within 30 seconds and I’m rarely wrong about them and although moments may surprise me or scare me, I’m never so thrown I can’t function.
  • I love that I’m extremely logical. I bring logic to a lot of things I do – whether it’s in explaining something, building something, creating something. I enjoy learning the order in the chaos of things. The patterns.  It intrigues me and really is the best way I function.
  • I love that I like to learn. With that comes the fact that once I learn something I don’t forget it if I care about it. Nine times out of ten, if I learned it, I care about it. But being a sponge for anything new is another great quality I love about myself.
  • I love that I don’t talk about what I don’t know. Rarely will anyone ever catch me discussing something I know nothing about. I love this about myself because I notice how many people constantly talk about something they don’t know.  It happens most often with movies.  People will trash a movie and if you ask them if they’d seen it, they’ll say “no”.  If it were just movies, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing, but people do it with politics, economics, worldly events, family issues, medical issues… hey, here’s a free bit of wisdom:  An easy way to seem like you’re really smart, is to admit when you don’t know something.  Seriously!  I’m not any smarter than anyone else, but I don’t talk about what I don’t know. Period. And when I don’t know something, I ask something.  Easy.
  • I love that I am able to sit with anyone of any race, age, color, gender, sexual orientation, economic status, celebrity, politician, Republican, Democrat, friend of foe… and fit right in. I am comfortable around people and have an innate ability to understand them, talk to them. There is something very “chameleon” about it. But not in a negative way. It’s not that I change who I am EVER.  But, that who I am is malleable to the circumstance.  I know myself so well, that I can find a way to connect with anyone.  It has to do with empathy. Finding a way to connect with another soul on the planet.
  • I love that I’m a very optimistic person. It’s not blind optimism, but it’s always being able to find the light in a dark circumstance. When things are bad, I find myself living in hope. Finding that source that will lead me to the next step.  Truly optimistic.
  • I love that I held onto my “Latina-ness” even though I lost my mom at such an early age and had to force myself to learn more of what it means to be Latina on my own. I know that’s a weird one, because I am Latina, but knowing my back story and how easily it would have been not to learn Spanish, not to understand and fit in with my mother’s culture, would have been an easy thing for this American to do.  And sadly, so many of us lose our culture along the way  – but what makes America so beautiful is the mix that everyone brings to the table. If I had been born to Scottish parents and lost them at a young age, I would have done the same thing.  Clearly it was my way of holding onto a piece of my past, my mom, but it also has other benefits as well.
  • Physically, without a doubt, I love my skin color. “ were kissed by the sun…” my mother used to tell me.  And I remember that phrase after the all these years.  And even though my hands are older, I have some wrinkles showing, some cellulite here and there, some changes in tone and elasticity… I still see all the beauty that is my cinnamon colored skin.  Sometimes I do feel bad about it.  I mean, honestly, I was born with it, it’s not like I did anything to have it, but I have to acknowledge it just the same.  Loving who WE are, skin color and all, clearly is and was an important part of my strength growing up.
  • I love that I’m still a kid most days. This may seem strange or may seem like I’m in denial of some sort, but I’m not. I think one of the worst things I hear from people who are older than me is this “giving up” sentiment. Like somehow turning 40 was Hogwarts Teethe end of life as they knew it.  I’ve had people say to me, “We’re different now, we’re so much older now” and “It’s for the new generation.”  WTF?  Hello!  I’m in my 40’s, I’m not dead!  Jeez! I hope if I’m blessed to live till I’m 90+ that I’m still walking around workin’ my magic and still dreaming of all the new possibilities!  And I think that’s the essence of being like a kid most days. I don’t mean not keeping to your responsibilities, but I mean, keeping in a state of awe, freshness and aliveness. Again, it goes to being a very optimistic person.  Being kid-like really just means always living in the moment, in the right here and right now and having the energy to play in it!
  • I love that I love people. I do. Even when the worst of us seems to burst through more painfully than I feel need be, I still love that eventually the human spirit figures it out.  I love all types of humans — even the ones I don’t understand.  Individually, I may hate a few – and I do, and yes, I use the word “hate” purposely. But as a collective, as a species, I am fascinated by how we all function.  Wow, I’ve never admitted that out loud (or on paper), but it is true. I love that I love people and always look for the best in us, even when we are showing the worst of who we are.

Hmm… that was kinda fun.  And interesting.

Have a sweet day!